• 18 days ago

    I hate sex

    I don't understand why or what wrong with me. I am terrified to talk to anyone outside the internet about it. I have been married but am now divorced although the reasons behind the divorce are many I can't help but feel I am to blame for all of it. I know it is very likely as a result I will not find a man that will put up with the fact don't like sex I am so very sad with faced by this as emotionally I feel so very alone and worthless.
    I think back on it growing up I was molested by a high school neighbor when I was in 3rd or 4th grade no one in my family is even aware of this I always kept it hidden. I always shyed from the idea but I figured once married I would be fine and I would grow into it.
    I did not have sex till I was married first time the marriage was only six months because of issues unrelated to sex although even at that time I saw it as a duty and though I didn't like it I did so without much thought. The second time my ex was aware of my lack of desire but we were still wed and married after a year. We were married for 8 after that. I left him but it was after he killed my pets. He was abusive but maybe I was to blame for the abuse. I was raped for three day after my divorce just over a year ago. I now am so very fearful and untrusting of men. Yet I feel so alone and wold like all aspects of a marriage other then the sex but I know I can't ask that of anyone either.

Responses

  • 18 days ago

    RE: I hate sex

    Hi !, Sounds like you have been through a lot, I would like to share a story and then some suggestions, I'm a male, I was married 17 years to my ex wife. We got together very young, a baby was on its way before we really knew each other, we were very sexual at the beginning. She shared some things with me from her childhood about being molested by her uncle and she hasn't told anyone. After a couple of years, her being molested started affecting our sex life, she was remembering back when her uncle was abusing her and after a bit we stopped having sex altogether. We then started looking into other ways to deal with our situation, counseling and going to church. Counseling did wonders she went by herself and slowly over time things went back to normal. So my suggestion would be therapy, it sounds like sex really makes insecure and depressed and I can see why and don't blame you. Sorry to hear about everything that has happened to you. Good luck and hope everything works out for you so you can have a piece of mind back.
  • 12 days ago

    RE: I hate sex

    Hi Sorry you was abused and you don't say if it was just the once or it went on for a long time, you say sex was not good during your marriage and thought it was your duty and that your desire/libido was not what you thought it should be.

    As you was growing up did you never masturbate, did you ever feel you nipples and get any kind of sensation from that or masturbation and not even touching your vagina, its a bit like boys playing with themselves.

    I think now you should ask for a blood test for your hormones you may find there out of whack, it could be that your testosterone is down along with others for this to happen.

    As for your sexual side I really suggest you look through the site below, you be in good company as its a site run by women, if you join your find Dr Betty Dodson very helpful in her answers, its not a porn site or a site pushing you on the partners, its like all those sexual questions you have on there you find all the answers and more.

    So let me introduce to www.dodsonandross.com
    you may have to copy this into google

    But Please do read and hope you find what your looking for in the way of enlightenment.

    NOWHARD
  • 11 days ago

    RE: I hate sex

    You've been through some horrific stuff. If you are not in therapy to help you cope, please consider it. You don't have to spend the rest of your life in fear and alone.

    Please don't ever consider that you were in any way responsible for being abused. The only person responsible for that is your abuser.

    I highly recommend that you contact RAINN to find someone you can talk to about the rape and the abuse.

    https://www.rainn.org/

    or call 800.656.4673

    There's no reason that you can't find a helping hand and/or a sympathetic ear.

    Wishing you well,

    FCL