• 4 months ago

    Bipolar aware, and still struggling

    So, idk looking for mental illness disscussions i guess.. i am 30 Y.O. female, diagnosed bipolar with chronic depression, the list goes on and on, in life bcuz of my struggles i have done everything in my power to rebel against my mental illness, im not medicated, and i read alot of mental illness, awareness, and self help books.. im reaching a peak of my illness right now and i just.. dont know where to turn for support. I am on the brink of becoming a mute. A lot of the relationships i have are effected by the extreme phase im experiencing and i just want to shut down, detaching mentally and emotionally, and applying a shallow exterior seems to be soothing the people that are in my life. With that being said feeling and observing the fact that my internal struggle is my own battle and opening up about it causes more harm and insecurity than help.

    ** what i am looking for is a reference to any online discussion sites that might help me be able to open up about what im experiencing**

    Any help and replies are greatly appreciated..

    Thank you

Responses

  • 4 months ago

    RE: Bipolar aware, and still struggling

    Hi Bipolar has been my problem for over 3 years ...I got cured few months ago after i contacted Dr Shebi Jr. I saw a post on the internet after i have seek healing for several years from different doctors in DC district. I sent the Doctor a request for help, just some few emails i followed his instruction and he sent me the medication after being paid. Now i am negative and i referred him to all my friend who had this same sickness and they are cured as well ,a trial will convince you. You can reach him via his email: [email protected]
  • 4 months ago

    RE: Bipolar aware, and still struggling

    Hi,

    I’m not sure if this is relevant to your situation, and wasn’t sure if I should reply. I thought I’d post anyway because something in what you posted makes me think that you’re putting a LOT of pressure on yourself, even maybe more than you realize?You deserve any and all the help you can get, and be able to just focus on you.
    In my struggles with mental health, I’ve fallen physically ill after trying to talk to people in my life about it, because I wasn’t ready. I was less prepared than I knew because I didn’t know the importance of creating a space that was safe for me, where the conversation focused on my struggles. I’ve never felt better after talking, I only felt drained and exhausted, and it worsened my physical pain from another ailment. Besides the emotional toll it took on me to watch people not able to understand, at all, what I was going through. I began thinking I was making a grand fuss. It’s one reason in a long list of reasons I gave myself to resist therapy for a long time.
    I’d reached a point of desperation before I finally began seeing my current therapist. It’s not been easy. Previous to that, any information I educated myself about helped me get by for a few months, till it wasn’t enough, till I began crashing every week. It didn’t take me long to come back to the horrible place I thought I’d progressed from. It was only after my health had completely ruined my chances of completing graduate school did I join therapy.
    I can say that this has been a different experience for me. It took me a few tries before I found a therapist I was comfortable talking to. I think that’s really important, you know? I’m beginning to see how much more there is to a mental health disorder than I ever imagined, and how much it can differ from one individual to another. We all seem to have our own unique experience of it, which makes it all the more difficult to understand. Mental illness is not the internal battle of one I thought it would be, and therapy helped me realize that I could do this solely for myself. Having a professional therapist in the same room, who helps with the heavy lifting that comes with the territory, is somehow helping me. I’ve realized that my mental illness had made me more vulnerable than I was aware of to depression, and some self- sabotaging behavior. It’s been hard talking to my therapist. It looks like it’s going to be worth it though.
    I’m sorry if this isn’t what you were looking for. I have in the past gone to online counseling sites. I had even read messages here for months before I considered therapy. None of it prepared me for the commitment that actual therapy represents. I guess I’m trying to say that having a therapist who helps me navigate through my health struggles is helping me cultivate mental strength in a more long term sense. Yet it’s also relieved some of the excessive pressure that I’d taken on, like trying to explain myself to people before I was ready for that kind of conversation. It’s also helping me tackle aspects of my life that I didn’t know were affecting me.
    I’m sorry for the long post. If you aren’t already in therapy, I’d really encourage you to seek a therapist who works for you, who could give you the help that you, uniquely, need.
  • 4 months ago

    RE: Bipolar aware, and still struggling

    Hi,

    First of all, I agree with nya_m re therapy! It can be an absolute life saver, one that I would highly recommend for you.

    The other thing that you mentioned is that you are not taking medication. You said that you were diagnosed with bipolar (1 or 2?) and bipolar is one of those mental illnesses where medication is a must. I can understand yours or anyones resistance to taking medication, but at some point, you have to decide what is more important to you - constant struggle with your illness or a life that's more stable, and able to do more of things you want/need to do - to be more in control of your emotions, learn new coping skills, and become more stronger mentally and emotionally. Granted, all of that doesn't happen with medication - much of that occurs through therapy, but medication is a big part of the treatment. It can be very difficult to do the therapy part without the medication.

    When taking a class on mental illness years ago, it was emphasized many times that the road to recovery involves 3 things:
    1. Medication 2. Therapy 3. Self Care. I couldn't agree more! I don't know which of the three is neglected the most, but if I'm guessing, it would be therapy, then self-care. Self-Care is a very generic term, but in this context, it pretty much means what it says, i.e. taking care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, behaviorally, socially, etc.

    Anyway, when those 3 things are practiced (and there's no specific way or method - everyone is unique) but when we put those 3 things into effect as treatment for our mental health, you will get better! That doesn't mean it will be easy or be fast; but as a person is persistent and is really working at their own recovery, then there can be nothing but progress. How fast and how much in part depends on the person.

    After having said all of that - what is your specific reason for not taking medication (if you don't mind my asking)? Had you been on some before and had a bad experience with it? Have you ever tried medication for your bipolar?

    I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2, which generally means that I experience the depression side of things far more than the manic side, and my manic side is very mild compared to someone with Bipolar 1. That's why I asked if you were diagnosed with bp 1 or 2, since there is a difference in how they are treated medically.

    I have been taking medication for approximately 28 years! Fortunately, once we found the right meds for me, I've been on the same ones for that long. That's not always the case. I take an anti-depressant and a mood stabilizer (Lithium) which, had I not been on all those years, I would likely either be a miserable mess, in a psych ward, or dead.

    No, I don't LIKE having to take medication. If it were possible, I wouldn't go anywhere near them; but I hate the alternative even more! That's what you have to decide for yourself, i.e. do you like the alternative more?

    I hope the best for you!
    Debbie