• 4 months ago

    Back..

    I haven't been on this website for over 2 years now, and by the time I was barely 17, and now that I am 19, I have learned a lot from my past and have done mistakes but I manage to keep staying strong and moving forward. As I read my message boards from over 2 years ago, I honestly thought that I had grown and changed for the better, but have I? I have been through worst now and I feel like if I am going back to my old habits... the only thing that keeps me going everyday is honestly myself but I feel like if slowly I am loosing myself again and I want to go back to my old ways. I have been sober from drugs for about 3 months now and I am happy that I am but something just wants to go back, I just love how I feel while I am high, it's something that I can't explain. As I am typing this down, I have tears down my face because never did I ever thought that I would come back to how I was years ago but here I am.. barely breathing just trying to be the best that I can be and hide my depression and my scars from others. For those going through something like me, please know that you are NOT alone, i am here for you! please allow yourself to open up and talk about anything that is going on. Thank you and may god bless you'll.