• 8 days ago

    Impulsive and stupid

    Today i did something so impulsive, stupid and totally unlike me. For over a year now i’ve been suffering with anxiety and depression with school being my main trigger. This has been a struggle for me causing my grades to drop, and i miss class almost once a week, with my parents knowledge. But today i was feeling so anxious before class it felt as if i wasn’t in control of my body anymore and i just started walking. i walked from my school nearly an hour to my moms job before i realized what i did. i never made it i ended up stopping in the middle of the road and sitting in the sidewalk. I had never felt dissociation this strong before, typically before an anxiety attack i can feel myself slipping from reality but this was different. i wasn’t panicking, i wasn’t overly anxious, i thought i was fine enough to get through school with my head down. i can barely even remember most of the walk or how i ended up where i did but it scares me to think that my anxiety is gaining more control over my body, actions and thoughts than i can. i’m at a loss as to what to do and transferring schools may not be an option for me. everyday it gets harder to get out of bed, and my grades are slipping. i’m struggling to not give up completely because it’s my final year of high school but i can’t help wanting to give in and give up. I don’t expect to get clear answers on how to fix my problem but i just need to know that others are dealing with this and what they are doing to try to push past it because at the moment there seems to be no way out.

Responses

  • 8 days ago

    RE: Impulsive and stupid

    Thanks for sharing your story. While I never say "I know what you're going through" I can say I do relate to your feelings.

    Talk to someone at your school. Raise a flag to them. Let them know you need help. They are there to help. Your school should have resource(s) dedicated to listening and helping you figure things out.

    Don't feel like you're alone or that you have to figure things out on your own. Your feelings are real and valid and deserve attention.

    Please talk to someone and check back in here to let us know how you're doing.

    Hang in there today!