• 5 months ago

    Running out of Options

    60 years old. Tired. Multiple chronic illness. Chronic pain secondary to multiple major surgeries. No friends. Married to a good woman that I love, but not attracted to phyically. Too many medications. I have anemia, low electrolytes. No energy, no motivation. Past hobbies hold no interest for me. My favorite activity is sleeping. Asleep, my dreams are my refuge. In my dreams I am whole and I can do things like run, climb, interact. I get to have at least some happiness and adventureI'm too intelligent for my own good and I lack social skills. I had a very good friend, but he passed away by his own hand. Very recently my father in-law passed away, I found myself being jealous of him. Nothing to look forward to. So, I wait. Naturally there's more than this going on, but I guess it's a bit cathartic to vent a bit.