• 5 months ago

    Please help

    I am feeling alone and depressed and scared. I lost my mom when I was 14 and have struggled with eating disorders, anxiety, depression, and ocd ever since. I am married and have a 2 yr old son who is the light of my life. Before he was born I had a miscarriage early on and a similar miscarriage after he was born. Shortly after that I was pregnant with a little girl we named Isabelle. After announcing it to friends and family and even buying her a few things, I lost the baby. I have been struggling with ptsd and a resurgence of my depression and other issues. It’s been months now and I haven’t been able to get pregnant since. My son who is 2 and a half is still not talking and although he is happy and social I’m pretty sure he’ll be diagnosed with autism. I put a lot of pressure on myself to constantly work with him from morning until night to get him to talk. When he has a bad day I spiral into depression and eating issues. I am lonely too. My husband works a lot and is gone from 4am until 7pm most days. I have few friends and few family. I just want my mom. The loneliness is eating me alive and I don’t know what to do. I won’t use antidepressants because I am trying to get pregnant and after what happened with my baby I refuse to take any chances. I just don’t know what to do. I see a therapist but it doesn’t seem to help right now because a lot of my depression is circumstantial. I just need help, I’m overwhelmed and feel unsafe and alone

Responses

  • 5 months ago

    RE: Please help

    To be frank with you, I don't think that right now you need to be focused on getting pregnant again. I think, right now, your mental health needs to take priority over ALL other matters. While you are not alone in what you are describing here, your situation should not be taken lightly. If you have PTSD like you described, you should be 6 months IN THERAPY, before even attempting to get pregnant again. AND that being said, exploring antidepressants might be something you look into during this time to get you over this hump. You don't need to stay on them but there is no reason why you need to feel this way on a daily basis. Getting pregnant WILL NOT solve your problems. Diverting attention into something or SOMEONE else will not solve your problems. Right now, your life should be about getting GOOD for YOURSELF. ALSO since you are grieving your mother, this is another factor that is important to address. I think EVERYTHING ELSE needs to be put ON HOLD and you stabilizing your emotions should come first. I hope you will take this advice. It may not be what you WANT to hear because we "WANT" so many things for ourselves.... but we don't ever WANT to get ourselves into a space mentally where we are able to accomplish these things. YOU ARE capable of getting everything you want and fulfilling your goals... But you can't accomplish them in the mental space you are in currently -- and that isn't your fault. THIS IS HARD but hold on.