• 4 months ago

    I just want to sleep nothing else

    Hi! I’m here because I don't have supportive people around me. Sorry for my bad English first. I’m 17(12th grade). My mental health is worse than ever and even everyday tasks are hard for me like taking a shower, cleaning my room and brushing my hair etc. My school grades keep getting worse too I don't want to study or go to school but I have to force myself though. I have really low self-esteem. My appetite increased and I hate myself every time I eat. Nothing can make me happy. At some point I think to end it all but I know it's wrong. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to tell my parents about it I don't want to be a burden. I’ll end up just feeling guilty.

Responses

  • 4 months ago

    RE: I just want to sleep nothing else

    Hi, I am so sorry that you are so depressed - I can relate and I know how horrible it is and can be. This is something that no one can do on their own. You need help! You don't have to live like this forever because there is a way out! I'm not saying that you will never be depressed again, but there is treatment out there that can get you far beyond what you are experiencing now!

    YOu say that you don't want to tell your parents because you dont' want to be a burden on them; but you are their child! Not only is it their responsibility to help you, but I'm sure they want to do the best they can for you. I wouldn't be surprised if they already see that there's something going on with you but just don't know the extent. Give them a chance to help you. Share with them your post if you're not able to verbalize to them.

    They may not know what to do, but you can help them. When we are physically sick, we see a doctor; when we are mentally sick, we also need to see a doctor - just a different kind. You would probably start by seeing your primary doctor to rule out anything physical going on with you and if not, then he/she should refer you to a Psychiatrist for an evaluation. At that point, he/she would give you a diagnosis (if one applies) and possibly start you on medication. Medication alone is not enough. You also need therapy so that you can be taught certain skills to help you to fight against the depression. Therapy can help you learn new thinking strategies, which is so important! Much of what we experience emotionally re depression is made worse by how and what we think and dwell on. If you tell yourself untrue things about yourself and your world all the time, your emotions will believe it and react.

    I hope that you will soon talk with one or both of your parents soon and ask them specifically what they can do to help. If they are unwilling to help for whatever reason, then go to your school counselor and be completely honest to him/her about what you are going through so that you can get the kind of help you need.

    You deserve to feel better! I know that at times you think ending your life is the best way to go because you feel this is unbearable; but there IS hope! You CAN get better and feel good again without depression's grip on you! But you can't get better if you don't do anything, but you're not doing that because you posted here! That is a big start! Now keep moving forward and seek out help from professionals who can truly help, and be vulnerable and share this with your family and any other person you feel you can trust so that you're not completely alone. It's ok if some people in your life can't relate or don't understand. They can still be a support. The only one's who can truly understand are those who have been through what you are.

    I hope you find the help you need! Please don't give up! THis is no doubt hard for you to have to go through, but ending your life is not the solution! You deserve to have a good life - one that you are happy with, and one where depression doesn't have the drivers seat!

    Hang in there and know that there IS hope!

    Debbie
  • 4 months ago

    RE: I just want to sleep nothing else

    Go straight to your school counselor and tell them. Your sound like you need to be on antidepressants. 30 years ago people had to suffer in silence but we are lucky to be living in a time where we can get help. Do not be embarrassed. You would not be embarrassed if you were a diabetic. Get help now.
  • 4 months ago

    RE: I just want to sleep nothing else

    I agree with Debbie and commend her on her lengthy and thorough answer. I can tell she really cares. I really feel for you, I have experienced depression all my life. I can tell you that medicine makes a world of difference. I encourage you to talk to your parents. Family is the best choice. Normally, there are no stronger ties. Your parents would want to know.

    I would also like to touch on what you mentioned about ending it all. If I may let you see the other side of that. My best friend committed suicide just before Christmas. She knew I would find her. She left a note in an envelope with my name on it. I do not wish this on anyone. I completely lost all ability to function normally up until just recently. It is hard to explain, but I was fine one day...then she did that, then I was not fine. You don't realize what you do to all the people you leave behind. The guilt, the loss, the sorrow, the questions, the "what if I would have only....", or the "what if I would have done .....". It is torture. I will never be able to erase that picture from my head of walking into her apartment and finding her. Or the scene that followed. Calling 911. Administering CPR. Crying. Ambulance, Paramedics, Police, confusion, questions, more crying. Then the note. That haunts forever.

    So please.....your parents love you so much. They want to help you with everything in your life. Especially something like this.

    You can do it. Minute by minute. Hour by hour. Soon it will be ok.

    Trust yourself.

    Sincerely,
    Lealeah
  • 4 months ago

    RE: I just want to sleep nothing else

    Hi there. I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. I wish I could give you a hug through the screen.

    Here [https://wb.md/2OTU4XP] is a list of crisis resources, hotlines, and web sites that may be of help if you are having thoughts of physically harming yourself or someone else. If you think you need immediate help and cannot speak to a family member, or a medical professional, please reach out to one of these organizations or dial 911 immediately.

    Most importantly, please know that we are here for you, even if it's just to listen.
  • 4 months ago

    RE: I just want to sleep nothing else

    I feel the exact same way as you and it’s so hard! I actually ended up talking to my teachers and I was able to get a disability form saying that I can have extra time for assignments or miss class sometimes. My teachers were very helpful and understanding. Doing that got ride of a lot of stress from worrying about my slipping grades. So many people struggle with depression it’s easy to feel so alone but you have to remember your not. You never know some of friends could be going through the same thing and are to scared to say anything. Hope this helps lol wish you the best you got this!!!!