• 21 days ago

    Anger

    Hi,

    I have no idea where to start.

    I have a good job, wife and kid. Family is around me. Health is good. Pretty much everything in my life is good.

    However, I am always angry. At everything. People, objects, events, life overall. I drive with rage. Always in no mood to do anything whatsoever. At work I do feel somewhat comfortable, keeping busy. But outside, I am a mess. I come back home unwilling to talk or do muc. Sit in front of the tv untill I fall asleep. Or just skip the tv and go to sleep.

    I use sleep as way to avoid talking or doing anything.

    Not just anger. I overthink and fret everything. I cant stop thinking about my days events when at home. I always think of bad outcomes happening the next day. I am always eager to get back to work the next day to see what would happen.

    I fall in depression sometime. I don't have many friends. And whoever is already in my life, I do everything I can to make them happy to avoid lossing them. And still I am alone most of the time.

    My wife is a kind beautiful person. I am really bringing her down with me. We don't share mcuh in life. Different hopies and interests. I do love her and I want to change for her but I carry a heavy unseen burden on my back.

    I am always in a rush to finish everything. And I mean everything. I rushed through school, university, marriage and work. Even when I travel., it feels like some kind of a duty to finish and go back home. I am rushing through life as much as I can. It feels like I want to finish,. Like I am expecting to reacha point where I can just rest, body and mind. In the back of my mind, I know I won't reach such a dream place, I know that I will only rest when I die and be done with the world.

    I have no idea why I am writing this but I was feeling down and thought I would share a bit.

    Thanks for reading.

Responses

  • 19 days ago

    RE: Anger

    Hi,

    Upon reading your post, the one and only thing that I would suggest is to start seeing a good therapist - one that you like - it doesn't work very well if you don't like your therapist. But it sounds to me that you need someone to help you work through why you have such intense anger because it's not just there for no reason. Also, it's been said that anger can be depression turned inside out, so in reality, you're dealing more with depression than anger - anger is just one of the symptoms of your depression.

    You are making a great step in that you see and recognize the problems, so now you need to be willing to do the work with a trained therapist. Just know that a therapist won't do the work or make the changes for you - they help you and teach and guide and then YOU do the work and make the changes! :)

    Good for you for making a step!

    Debbie
      • 14 days ago
        Thanks Debbie, appreciate the response. I have been thinking about seeing a therapist for a long time now. I will hopefully make that step.
      • 13 days ago
        I'm very happy to hear that don't put it off too long because that is one of your keys to wellness - if indeed that is what you want!

        Debbie
  • 13 days ago

    RE: Anger

    Hello,

    I have both clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder and feel this daily as well. It comes and goes. Sometimes quickly sometimes it takes days.
    I felt as if I was reading my own words here. I too am married with children and a great job yet there is still uncontrollable pain and anger in my life. It took so long for my husband to understand and we still struggle on my bad days.
    Know you are not alone. I felt a little less lonely reading your words. Its lonely when you think your the only one having these thoughts and when those around you dont seem to struggle with the same mundane tasks.
    Thank you for sharing.