• 2 months ago

    Why I keep relapsing

    I don't know if this is the right place to be sharing this but I need to.I was diagnosed with servers depression at 12 years old now I'm 16 and I've had 3 relapses. And the reason I even have depression is because I feel like no one fights for me I feel like I'm the only person fighting for myself and I don't know what to do.

Responses

  • 2 months ago

    RE: Why I keep relapsing

    Hi there, and thanks for sharing. I'm so sorry that you have experienced depression since you were 12-years-old! No child should have to suffer that, and I very sorry!

    Do you have any idea why you became so depressed at that age? What I mean is, did you go through anything (or more than one thing) that was traumatic for you prior to then? Sometimes (but not always) when someone your age (at that time and now) experiences such deep depression, it is directly related to trauma - anything from sexual or physical abuse, severe neglect, loss of a parent (or both) and so much more. You don't need to say (here) if any of those things happened to you, but if they did, that would indeed warrant being depressed.

    My other question is have you been getting any treatment since you were diagnosed? In my opinion, the most important thing for you would be therapy with a highly qualified therapist - one that you like and feel safe with and can trust. Do you or have you ever had someone like that over the years? If you currently aren't seeing a therapist, are your parents supportive to help you find someone for you? If your family can't afford one, there are resources out there where you could see one for free or very low cost. But it's very important for you to get professional help for your depression while you are still young. Medication could very well be something that you need, if even just temporary. A Psychiatrist is the best kind of doctor for prescribing those kinds of meds.

    As I was saying, do what you can to get into treatment NOW rather than waiting until things get worse for you. It's not easy, but it would be easier to have treatment now as opposed to waiting 5 or 10 or more years when you are more established in unhealthy habits and ways of thinking that only make your depression worse. Take care of it now before it grows into something far more painful and difficult to deal it!

    You CAN get through this! Just don't try to do it on your own! Get professional help, ok?

    You can do this!!

    Debbie
  • RE: Why I keep relapsing

    See, life is a tough proposition. Especially when it comes to fighting with yourself for yourself, the struggle becomes even more demanding. At every point, you need to keep reminding yourself that although you may be just one among the huge population that exists in this world, but for you, you are your world. Everything that you are associated with, during your lifetime, has existence in your life only because YOU exist. Adverse circumstances can make you feel miserable about yourself because of your incapability of dealing with them, but remember that your existence is not defined by those circumstances. If you have a tendency of correlating yourself with the circumstances that surround your life, remember that circumstances change with the flow of life. Life has been destined to occur to us in a particular fashion in the form of those sequence of circumstances, that will keep surrounding us until we are alive. However, the way we choose to live with those circumstances is a reflection of the importance that we give to ourselves. There is a difference between living life as it comes and accepting it. When you start accepting things as they happen to you, you actually start living with a conclusion that there are certain things that can neither be prevented from occuring in your life nor can the intensity of their existence be controlled. So, when you have this clarity that the only choice you are left with, is to keep yourself as unaffected and undisturbed as possible. Your capabilties of dealing with adversities define only a part of you, and not the complete you. So, dont judge yourself by your capabilty of dealing with an adversity. Do the needful to tackle the situation at the ground level, and leave the rest to destiny.
  • RE: Why I keep relapsing

    See, life is a tough proposition. Especially when it comes to fighting with yourself for yourself, the struggle becomes even more demanding. At every point, you need to keep reminding yourself that although you may be just one among the huge population that exists in this world, but for you, you are your world. Everything that you are associated with, during your lifetime, has existence in your life only because YOU exist. Adverse circumstances can make you feel miserable about yourself because of your incapability of dealing with them, but remember that your existence is not defined by those circumstances. If you have a tendency of correlating yourself with the circumstances that surround your life, remember that circumstances change with the flow of life. Life has been destined to occur to us in a particular fashion in the form of those sequence of circumstances, that will keep surrounding us until we are alive. However, the way we choose to live with those circumstances is a reflection of the importance that we give to ourselves. There is a difference between living life as it comes and accepting it. When you start accepting things as they happen to you, you actually start living with a conclusion that there are certain things that can neither be prevented from occuring in your life nor can the intensity of their existence be controlled. So, when you have this clarity that the only choice you are left with, is to keep yourself as unaffected and undisturbed as possible. Your capabilties of dealing with adversities define only a part of you, and not the complete you. So, dont judge yourself by your capabilty of dealing with an adversity. Do the needful to tackle the situation at the ground level, and leave the rest to destiny.
  • 2 months ago

    RE: Why I keep relapsing

    I know how you feel. When I was your age I felt like I was fighting a battle and I was the only one on my side and the rest of the world was on the other. To make it worse my parents saw depression as an embarrassment instead of a disease. I'm in my 30s now.
    Do you have a diary? My diary was practically my best friend during those times. Overtime I felt like my diary was the one that at least on my side so I had an ally. If you do start I diary I recommend a paper and pencil one, not the electronic ones. There's this sense of bonding you get when you write with pencil and paper.
    Have you tried talking to your parents? My parents refused to listen so I ended up talking to a counselor at school. I even started talking on these WebMD message boards. Although I didn't know the people I didn't feel as alone.
  • 2 months ago

    RE: Why I keep relapsing

    Unfortunately I am going through the same but am much older.. You have to fight for yourself and build yourself up, do not rely on others to do so. Don't be like me its too late now and I should of realized that along time ago. You will always have some kind of relapse based on triggers in your life that may bring back a lot of things. Some things you might not even know that they are trigger words but you recognize them once they set you off. Please be strong and keep your circle small with the people who really do care and love you. Stay strong young one and make sure you get all the help you can get by the doctors and don't be stubborn like I was.