• 11 months ago

    I had enough

    I've been on tens of different medications ranging from lithium to benzodiazepines to anti depressants... I tried many combinations too... Nothing worked and I tried to commit suicide... I failed and got caught... After it they have started ect treatment... Even after 11 times nothing had changed... Is there something after this.... I gave up but even if there is a slight chance of some other treatment I don't want to die before trying that too


  • 11 months ago

    RE: I had enough

    Hi Cerynitis,

    I am SO sorry that you have been going through this! I don't how long a time frame it's been since you've tried those 10 diff meds and ect treatment, but regardless, I know how frustrating and hopeless it can feel! I had to try about the same amount of meds too, but didn't have ECT treatment, before I was finally put on a medication that worked for me.

    When this happens, i.e. no med seems to work, it's often called "Treatment Resistant." I am treatment resistant, and it sounds that in all likelihood, so are you.

    There is one class of anti-depressants that can be effective for people who are treatment resistant. I've read some documentation that says it can be effective in up to 50% of patients treatment resistant. This class of meds are known as Monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs).

    My guess is that more than likely, your doctor has not prescribed an MAOI for you. They are an older anti-depressant with some restrictions such as certain foods and quite a few drug interactions that can be dangerous. Some patients wouldn't be a good candidate for MAOI's because maybe they wouldn't be responsible enough to make sure they ALWAYS let their doctors know they are taking an MAOI so they are not prescribed anything that would conflict with the MAOI - or maybe they would be careless about adhering to certain food restrictions. Or, if the person has any other health condition that could prevent them from being able to take an MAOI.

    Just a moment to speak to those restrictions - I have been taking an MAOI for about 27 years, and have not had any problems re any interaction. The reason for that is because I have been almost overly diligent about making SURE that I check and double-check that I don't take ANY med that could interact with my medication. I can't assume that every doctor I go to is going to know, so I make sure. Re the food restrictions, they hardly apply to me because I don't eat most of the stuff on the list anyway.

    I'm saying this just to have you know that even though yes, MAOI's can be riskier to take than newer anti-depressants, but the primary risk is taken when the patient doesn't adhere to the restrictions - most of which may not even apply to each individual person.

    Having said all of that, over 27 years ago, the doctor tried me with over 10 different meds and combination of meds until finally, she referred me to a different Psychiatrist who, after trying one more med, put me on a medication called Nardil, an MAOI. I knew within about 2 weeks that finally, we found the medication for me!

    Within maybe a couple months, they added lithium, and I've been taking them both for the past 27 years! Has it been perfect? Nope! As with any anti-depressant, I still experienced occasional depression from time-to-time; but nothing major. Most of the time, I just needed to increase the Nardil by a half a pill for a while, which took care of the problem.

    About a year ago, I did need to wean off Nardil and put on Marplan because for about the previous 2-3 years, Nardil was starting to not be as effective. So my doctor switched me to another MAOI (Marplan).

    In a very long-winded way lol, sorry, I'm saying that unless you've already tried an MAOI, I would ask your doctor what he/she thinks of prescribing you one. The more common MAOI's are Nardil and Parnate. There is also Marplan and EmSam. EmSam comes in the form of a patch in 3 diff strengths. It's said that at least the food restrictions are less significant on the low to medium strength. I tried them, but weren't as effective for me, but very effective for some.

    Are you seeing a Psychiatrist for your medications or your primary care doctor? Hopefully a Psychiatrist because psych meds are their specialty; also, a primary doctor would not be qualified properly medicate when it's something much more than mild anxiety or situational depression. (not all docs, but most).

    Please don't kill yourself! I am very glad that someone "caught" you, thus, preventing you from ending your life! You are here for a reason! You may not know why yet, so stay here until you do, yes?

    You are worthy of life even though you feel hopeless right now! If only in your mind, hold onto hope until it becomes a strong foundation and driving force in your heart!

    Continue fighting for your life no matter what!

    Hope is holding onto you!

  • 11 months ago

    RE: I had enough

    Rather trite, but try your best to "hang in there." It is NOT an easy process finding the correct combination of meditations...although, they ARE out there.