• 11 months ago

    Bad Bipolar, bad decision, or just bad

    My daughter and I both have bipolar disorder and have a hard time in social situations. It seems that we both go from awkward moment to awkward moment, not knowing how to relate to others. There is an ebb and flow to body language, eye contact, voice tone and modulation, and emotional response that eludes us. We have enough burned friendships that we are phobic about starting any new ones. One day she asked me a question about where our bipolar ends and we begin. I told her that I end up second guessing almost every human interaction I have or project I begin because I don’t know the answer. And ‘What would Jesus do?’ is hard to apply if you don’t understand the human element of the situation. Does anyone have an answer for us, or care to hazard a guess?

Responses

  • 11 months ago

    RE: Bad Bipolar, bad decision, or just bad

    I don't know much about bipolar disorder, however I do know that there are 4 basic types of bipolar disorder. All of them involve clear changes in mood, energy, and activity levels. 1. Bipolar I disorder, 2. Bipolar 2 disorder, 3. Cyclothymic Disorder. 4. Other specified and Unspecified bipolar and related disorders defined by Bipolar Disorder symptoms that do not match the three categories listed above.

    There are new medicines that are new on the market every year, maybe you should contact your health care professional and ask them about new medicine and make sure that you do a follow- up with him or her. When choosing a healthcare professional it is important that you keep the lines of communication open so that he or she knows how well your treatment is working for you or not working for you or if a change in treatment plan may be needed. The good news is that there are many treatment options that you can get to help manage your symptoms and your Healthcare provider can help find the right one for you.
    People having a manic episode may feel up or high, or lots of energy, have increased activity level, or feel jumpy or wired, have trouble sleeping, more active than usual, Talking fast about many different things, be agitated, or irritable or touchy, feel like their thoughts are going too fast, think they can do a lot of things at once.or do risky things like spending a lot of money.
    People having a depressive episode may feel sad, down, empty, hopeless, having very little energy, have decreased activity levels, have trouble sleeping, they may sleep too little or too much, feeling like they can't enjoy anything, Feeling worried and empty, have trouble concentrating, forget things a lot, eat too much or too little, feel tired or slowed down, think about death or suicide.
    Sometimes a mood episode includes symptoms of both manic or depressive symptoms, This is called an episode with mixed features.
    Bipolar disorder can be present even when mood swings are less extreme. For example, some people with Bipolar experience hypomania, a less severe form of mania. During a Hypomania episode, and individual may feel very good, be highly productive, and function well. The person may not feel that anything is wrong, but family and friends may recognize the mood swings and or changes in activity levels as possible bipolar disorder. Without proper treatment, people with hypomania may develop severe mania or depression.
    Treatment helps many people even those with the most severe forms of bipolar disorder given better control of their mood swings and other bipolar symptoms. An effective treatment plan usually includes a combination of medication and psychotherapy.
    You might also want to consider a clinical trial. You can visit a Clinical Trials.gov to find one anywhere in the world. This is a searchable database of federally and privately supported clinical trials conducted in the U. S. and around the globe. Clinical Trials.gov has information about a trial's purpose, who may participate, locations, and phone numbers for more details. Anyone interested in joining a clinical trial should consult a health professional before making a commitment.
    I know this may be a lot to take in but you should consult your medical professional if you are having problems with your medication. Only your doctor knows and understands your frustrations. I can tell you what I think you should do, however I am not a professional, but I am going to tell you that you don't mess a round with Bipolar Disorder. I have a friend that is a really bad Bipolar disorder, now she is in a nursing home with no visitors, and she is given a lot of medicines, she gets really agitated and suicidal so they put her away in a nursing home instead of a state hospital. That is because her mother set it up that way. Maybe you can get into a group or ask your doctor about the clinical trials, anything to help the situation. I do hope that I have help in some small way.
      • 11 months ago
        Thanks for your quick response. I'm sorry about your friend. If she is like me, she feels ostracized, uncertain of her situation and the people around her, and powerless to change anything. It's like having your back on the bottom of a black barrel full of ink and a stone on your chest. I think that most clear-thinking people have no reference for the type of hell that is.
        I am not suicidal, am taking medication, and am seeing a health-care professional. But the meds don't always work and i see a therapist as a source of course corrections that are almost as bad as flying blind. They try, sometimes a lot, but they are also handicapped by having to use our answers to their questions to synthesize meaningful counsel for us. But that assumes that we know the importance of feelings and events as they apply to our present wellness. And with bipolar, that importance changes in a moment. They have a moving target.
        So the purpose for my post was/is to see if someone has advice on how a person with bipolar disorder can know if it is them making the decisions or their illness. Maybe I'm asking the wrong question, and maybe the only answer is to live with the uncertainty. I hope not. I would like to trust my mind or at least know when it's off the rails so I could change the behavior.
        Any and all replies are welcome.
      • 11 months ago
        I also have bipolar disorder, am on meds, see a counselor every 2 weeks, and have trouble in social situations. I tend to be reserved in social settings because I can be overly aggressive and mess up relationships. I can relate.
        My son is high functioning Autistic. I mention this because part of what you are describing, missing social cues, falls within the autism spectrum. Not suggesting that you are autistic. I am suggesting ask your counselor about teaching you to use some of the social cues techniques used by autistic people. It might help. Some of it boils down to using manners to guide you through social situations.
        The other thing that helps me is my spouse, who is an extrovert, can let me know when my behavior/decision is outside of the realm of acceptable. I don't know if you have that kind of support person.
        Some days I also second guess myself. I just have to accept this is who I am and I can move forward from this day and I am capable of dealing with consequences of my actions.

        Hope this helps
      • 7 months ago
        This is Ricky my meds quit working about five weeks ago, and we're still messing with what will work, I'm pretty much not alone I can fill an anxiety attack come on then I know I call my husband and family member or friend and it passes I call my husband and family member or friend and it passes , it is the darkest place to be and that part of bipolar I don't recommend ,I constantly work on positive happy I smile until I feel happy it's contagious if I don't laugh I'm going to cry sometimes!and the extreme high everyone's happy around me! And I ride it like no tomorrow.
        I have learned to be consciously aware I will be coming down, but I prepare for and it's not that bad, I prefer that than the Darkside
  • 10 months ago

    RE: Bad Bipolar, bad decision, or just bad

    I am bipolar and I come from a family of bipolar. It is hard because we can cause each other to become manic. As I have become older I keep to myself since I have been hurt by people. I am very lucky because I have found a Meds Doctor and a Therapist that specializes in bipolar disorder. I strongly recommend you and your daughter find a mental heath doctor. You will learn so much about yourself and what triggers episodes. with time and work you will see yourselves become stronger because your more educated. You both will always be bipolar and will sometimes struggle with it, but there is hope for you both if your in good hands of a mental health provider.
      • 10 months ago
        It's comforting to me to hear that others struggle with the same issues. I knew there were others but don't know any other than my daughter. Maybe I do and don't know it. I don't advertise my mental illness because others don't know how to work with one that they feel may change any moment. They are afraid. I've had "friends" that quit talking to me when I explained my situation. There is a support group but they meet nights while I'm at work. And they meet 60 miles away. Does anyone know of one on-line? A virtual meeting is better than feeling odd and alone and not fitting in. Thanks for the message Jessy67.
      • 10 months ago
        I closed my last reply before I got to ask if anyone else is staying quiet about their mental health (or lack thereof). I don't share because I don't want people to define me as bipolar. But I'm conflicted because I also feel that the illness should be talked about in a positive and constructive way. I mean, most of us are mostly stable most of the time thanks to drugs and therapy. Has anyone else faced this dilemma and come to a conclusion they could share?
      • 7 months ago
        I too suffer from bipolar disorder. It's something I would never wish on anyone. I feel awkward in public. I don't always know what to say or how to say it when someone tried to engage me in conversation. I panic when anyone makes eye contact and walks my way. My mind wanders during a conversation and I lose track of what's being said as I try to focus on social clues or think hard about a response that won't come across as impolite or uncaring. It's stressful every time. So mostly I sit there quietly and allow others to do all or most of the talking. I struggle with fitting in. I feel alone in a room full of people. I isolate myself. Even with family, especially my mom. She knows I'm bipolar, which she announces to everyone even with my disapproval. Some how she thinks it's a short term disease that will go away. Asks me if I'm better yet or why don't I stop taking my meds because it's not curing me. I talked to my psychiatrist about it because she is one of my biggest triggers. What's worse is the fact I live with her. So I end up avoiding her as much as possible. She's diabetic; so my psychiatrist suggested next time she says anything like that to me, I should respond with something to the effect of why doesn't she stop her diabetes medication since it's not curing her, exactly, and that's why I can't stop my meds or I'll get worse. Meds help me get it under control the best they can, and just like diabetes, bipolar is a life long illness. After several of those responses by me, she's backing off. In my mind I would expect her, being my mother and all, to try to be a little understanding and compassionate. She is with everyone else and their multiple ailments. I, however, am the only "bipolar" she knows of. My mother's reaction is one of the reasons I hold back from telling others about it. Everyone I come in contact with seems to have a preconceived notion that people with bipolar are all crazy lunatics and scared of them, thanks to the media. So, because of all the negativity, I tend not to mention it to other people out of self preservation and fear they may run away. Only a select few know. To everyone else, I try to follow social cues, try to laugh at appropriate times and not laugh at inappropriate times. I try to act interested and sympathetic to the best of my ability. This really helps around people who don't know. It gets me by, and they're none the wiser. We may not be "normal" to "normal" people as they refer to themselves, but it's my everyday reality and I totally understand what you're going through. It's probably normal for a lot of us. But I think others suffer the same stigma from the general public, so they may keep it to themselves as well. Don't beat yourself up for it. Just accept it for what it is and move on. Live the best life for YOU that you can. Best wishes.
      • 7 months ago
        I have been working on catching a mood swing and how to control it. So I have been quite aware of triggers, moods, etc. My whole family is the biggest trigger I have. Please don't get me wrong I love them and now I am working on taking their trigger power away. Yes I just made that up. My daughter will be the hardest because she's just like me. I know I cannot control them but I can learn to stop acting on their overacting. This is going to be a trial run so I'll keep you posted unless I've gone fetal and can't reach the computer. Also I am still searching for a decent bipolar group just to talk and share. Know of any? I enjoy this group but I would like to be in real time, especially when someone needs help. Any one interested in starting one?? or at least belong
      • 7 months ago
        I too am openly bipolar! I turn 50 this month, awkward in social situations so I choose to be funny ! My problem is that! Not knowing what is social acceptable at times. And knowing when it is
        Example I need a group of people introduced. I asked what do you want to talk about politics or religion ? That breaks the ice so I can tell them that I am openly bipolar! And then I explained the difference s. they become very interested
        For 42 years, I have been introvert and extrovert I prefer to be around plants and animals . I question everything, but it gets better!
        I was only diagnosed seven years ago. I'm relieved I know what it is!
        My nephew is a genius and he's artistic! Six years old amazing wisdom .
        Google search bipolar magazine very helpful! ( A wonderful source of information as well as the site. I'm Ricky Leeks!
        And I am a proud supporter of mental illness! I'm not a lone !
        I take great comfort in knowing that I guess that's my higher power!
        I don't think I cycled I'm not very good at finishing a sentence
      • 7 months ago
        Yes! I too am openly proud supporter of mental illness!
        Learning your triggers is a wonderful thing it's been seven years!
        I don't watch the news, trigger ! When something is said and I take it wrong or they meant to say it I get angry and I tell him do not talk to me for 15 minutes
        If they don't stop I go for a walk . I was taught to ask myself questions do I have direct control? Indirect control? Or no control at all? Ricky Leeks
      • 7 months ago
        Hello Miss Ricky Leeks! you sound almost like a cookie cutter of me from being funny to my plants and animals. I'll be 50 in June and I am trying to make it fun and eventful ( trying and trying ) I was probably diagnosed around five years ago, but being from a bipolar family - oh sorry their not bipolar, I knew I had to surrender to it. I have no verbal filters left so I never know what the hell I'm going to say. I am stubborn and I finally have excepted that I have to deal with the bipolar. At first I thought I'll take the meds and then I'll be cured and things will be all better. I know duh, I just didn't want to believe I was like my family. I do tell people I am bipolar and try to explain this is why I do things a certain way. I did lose friends but I have gained so many more. It's great to have you here, everyone on this post are wonderful understanding people. I will talk to you soon.
      • 7 months ago
        Ricky leaks again, I'm on my third therapist in seven years, they keep going crazy! { psych } I think we can use all of our psychiatrist and ask what they think? I think they can bring structure ! Maybe we can help our love ones that don't have bipolar, maybe they can understand a little more
      • 7 months ago
        I have been through way more doctors than that. I think their scared of me? I have a new one now and now I go looking for a better one. It has taken a long time for my family to understand. My husband never believed in all this therapy and drugs, I should shake it off. I'll let you know how that's working out
  • 7 months ago

    RE: Bad Bipolar, bad decision, or just bad

    I´m a survivor too! What I find the most enlightening is when I am conscious or aware that my actions/feelings/response is not "normal"... Not that I´m able to control all the time, but at least can tell I´m under the influence of the desease! Under lifetime medication, already 40 years using them!
    Hope to be able to be part of a group such as jessy67 suggests!
      • 7 months ago
        My husband and I can help start the group , maybe do a nonprofit?
        I too am not sure what is socially excepted at times.
        But I have always been invited back! Ricky. Leeks
      • 7 months ago
        That is awesome. How should we contact each other?
      • 7 months ago
        HI Simbaii, I have been learning to be more aware of myself and the situation around me. I just recently became aware I can get caught up in drama real easy because I have to "fix everything" so I jump right in. Yes that would be a trigger took me long enough to figure that out. I would really like to try for a live talk site. You where young when you where diagnosed that's so hard for younger kids to understand. Something like this might help them from all of us. Ricky Leeks might be able to help us start a site that would be incredible. We'll let you know
      • 7 months ago
        Hey this is Ricky leaks! My lovely life partner Michael, Asked did you write this yourself ? He's very proud of me I did my first blog and I didn't know it My very first time! I had to let him know Siri help . A little! So ideas of how we would like to do this?
        Like a set time of the week or of the day or or a discussion board style where we can take turns to be there when someone needs to phone a friend because the Internet can let us know when there is a needed connection. And we also could do an Internet radio station where everybody could connect , A friend of ours does twice a week , you just don't listen everyone can respond and talk ! We have resources bipolar magazine this website here! Twitter soon as I learn how to use it. So we need to put our heads together and do something !productive, I will research the nonprofit portion of it, please feel free to jump in! There's only two in my family that are -I like nonprofit for those that can't afford a microphone and speakers/maybe the computer
      • 7 months ago
        I love my hubby! Now be patient with me, I spell like a third grader but I read like a fifth-grader that's eighth grade Email Rickyleeks@yahoo.com
        And we'll go from there! Tuesday I go to Florida for a family reunion pray for me be there two weeks but I can check email
      • 7 months ago
        Rickyleeks@yahoo.com
        I know this is really going to help me and we can encourage people,
        I wasn't diagnosed with bipolar till seven years ago I had no treatment for 43 years . And being a homosexual in the closet to 24 years old even longer but young kids need to know it's going to be OK { so who's going to volunteer to work with the young kids cause I'm not gonna do it they give me headaches and they have germs }
      • 7 months ago
        Rickyleeks@yahoo.com
        I'm not good at expressing myself to young kids I wouldn't know what to say !i'll do the fundraising
        And who can do the email when there's inquiries because I give you the password just email me
      • 7 months ago
        Ricky leaks at Yahoo!.com that's on
      • 7 months ago
        Right know rickyleeks@yahoo.com. Since I will be traveling, I will respond to all and when I get back from vacation, we can work on a permanent platform solution.
        Please think about sharing what helps you and then we can all ask our therapists about it. I was alone for 34 years finally ,seven years ago a botched suicide attempt, a psychiatrist save my life!
      • 7 months ago
        Jessy67, I think it would be great to get to know and support one another. I am grateful for all of you that have posted and you are the first, Jessy67, to talk about getting together with one another to talk things out like in a group situation. That's wonderful! I'm not really sure what that would look like but the idea is a good place to start. Maybe someone here knows where to go from there, or knows someone who can take that idea to the next level. I'm worried about giving out my email address but this is important. And others can email me so we can carry on our conversations in private until we find another forum. I am at HaroldsArt@xmission.com.
        It appears that we all share something in common.. an illness and the very human need to share with others. And who can understand bipolar more than the ones living it? I want to share my feelings and experiences and want to hear all of yours. How do/did you cope with situations in your lives. Everything stays among just us, and maybe our therapists, because trust is important to us/me. And no one has to share more than they are comfortable with.
        If this sounds good to anyone else, email me and we'll get started.
  • 7 months ago

    RE: Bad Bipolar, bad decision, or just bad

    Just an opinion....bipolar doesn't "end" and you "begin". It would seem best to me if you simply realize that you have the disorder....that this is the new you and learn to "dance in the rain". I have never experienced a disorder or know of a disorder with so many "catch 22's". Just go out and live each day as best as you can and be thrilled you have each other for sharing and support. Have a good psychiatrist who is thoroughly knowledgeable about the disorder. Take the right meds and never miss a dose or stop dosage. Our regimen is 450 mg. Lithium (the gold standard) in the am and 300 mg at night, along with 200 mg of lamictal/lamotrigine. Get regular testing if taking lithium to insure therapeutic range.
    Good coping skills are critical to success in managing this disorder. Be your own doctor by reading everything you can about the disorder and how everyone else is coping.
    And pray.
      • 7 months ago
        Well said! We live every day to our best! Even the bad ones!
        Did you know that beer is not a coping skill?
        I was self-medicating, my first psychiatrist! Clued me in on that only reason he's not my psychiatrist I moved
  • 7 months ago

    RE: Bad Bipolar, bad decision, or just bad

    When my family brings up uncomfortable situations I just get up and leave the room nicely,
    They ask why I said the family knows nothing About conflict resolution we need a trained professional psychiatrist
    I'm not gonna let anyone rain on my parade! I'm bipolar I could do it all by myself
  • 7 months ago

    RE: Bad Bipolar, bad decision, or just bad

    Don't worry too much about it, though bipolar is a chronic condition, you will not have the symptoms always. It will be less the time you'll have symptoms than the time you will not have them. If you have experience as a patient with many hours of therapy and doctor visits you will find patterns and you'll see when is the illness and when is not. Don't trust those stories of the "a friend of mine" people don't know by second hand. Bipolar is not the end of the world, you can live a fullfilling life, better than many people without mental health conditions. Trust yourself, you will not hurt yourself, you will find your way.
      • 5 months ago
        I just saw these posts, as I requested to enter via Web MD. I can't tell if you are all still there, available, but I wish to tell you this: I'm bipolar as well; and even though I was once on a webpage that offered the possibility of sharing, for some reason I don't recall, I didn't stay on it! I'm male, 70yrs. young and I was finally diagnosed as bipolar some 35 years ago, but now know had been ill for at least some 10 years earlier.

        Simply stated, I have felt any and all the issues you have mentioned in all posts I've seen dating back to i_love_color's 6 months ago.

        Would gladly participate with all of you in any endeavor you've suggested so far.