• 5 months ago

    I don’t know how to cope...

    Hi, I don’t really know how to start this or even how to explain it but I’m not coping well with life, I have an amazing family and amazing friends but my mental health is not good at all, recently I got diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety and panic attacks... I didn’t think I’d ever be like this I used to be such a fun outgoing bubbly person who was full of life and was never really home I loved going out and spending time with people I care about... around 3 years ago I started seeing this guy.. well I say seeing but it started out as FWB and then it ended up with him telling me he caught feelings... so In the end I fell in love with him like totally and utterly besotted by him... if he called me I was there if he wanted to see me id drop anything and everything to go and see him... he messed with my head a lot he knew how I felt about him and ended up being the ‘ I don’t want you but I don’t want you to be with anyone else’ type of guy. Every time I spoke to a guy he would be telling me how he wanted me and all of that BS but then as soon as I stopped talking to said guys he would go back yo messing me around... I eventually ended up in a relationship with a guy I had met through friends... he turned out to be a nasty person a very toxic relationship. He didn’t like who I was friends with he didn’t like certain things I wore he would hit me all the time and punish me... if me and him argued I would end up having to sleep on the floor of his bedroom as punishment... he would pinch me and twist my skin if he lost in video games and he made me feel worthless he would comment on my looks he would make me feel so down about myself, when we eventually ended things I spiralled out of control and I would be drinking almost every day... I went into a dark dark hole I wasn’t okay and I would often think about suicide and just generally hating myself... eventually I started to have panic attacks and anxiety attacks whenever I tried to leave the house.. going to the doctors hasn’t helped... I am not sleeping at all till around 7am and even then I’m not sleeping fully.. I’ve had to stop work for the time being cause I don’t ever want to leave my house. I don’t see my friends anymore and I’m just not coping I sit up every night and hurt cry.. I don’t want to talk to my mom about it because I don’t want to worry her but I’m scared I’ll end up hurting myself or worse... any advice would be appreciated.

    P.s. I’m really sorry if this is all over the place I’m just a mess at the moment.

Responses

  • 5 months ago

    RE: I don’t know how to cope...

    I think you really need to see a therapist. The combination of a good therapist and a client who wants to do the work can effect some major change! You deserve a better life, and you can have that with the help of a trained therapist - one that you like and feel connected with.

    Think about it and be your own best advocate!

    Debbie
  • 5 months ago

    RE: I don’t know how to cope...

    if u need someone to talk to im here ....
  • 5 months ago

    RE: I don’t know how to cope...

    I had depression for 5 years. I would not leave my house for very long periods of time and I distanced myself from all friends and family. I was up all night crying and slept during the day. I had continuous panic attacks and I was always anxious. Like you said, I didn’t know why because I had a good family and a good life but I just could not enjoy it. Nothing seemed to make me happy, I had temporary happiness when I bought things I wanted or something exciting happened but it would be a very brief happiness. It got so bad I eventually had to take strong depression pills and they suppressed the depression because I had temporary peace but if I forgot to take it, it would be worse than before I started taking them. And so of course I did online research after the doctor put a diagnosis on it and like so many others I came to the conclusion that this is just how I am, its a chemical imbalance, its no different than any other incurable illness and I just have to deal with it. That was my mindset. While all this was going on my mom would continuously tell me to go to church that only Jesus Christ can heal me. And my response was the same “mom this is just how I am” although I didn’t listen to her but she would insist quite often. Til one day, I got into some major problems and with the depression I had, just minor things would stress me out and panic me, so this major issue I had just broke me and I had no where to turn anymore and thats when I did it. I got on my knees and prayed “God, I cant do this anymore, I surrender my all to you because I just cant anymore” I prayed this way while hysterically crying on the floor. That same night I took my moms advice and went to a church and when I got there a man was preaching about how God allows us to go through a desert in order for us to come to Him..because its only in the desert that you realize your need of Him. I truly felt in my soul that God was speaking to me through each word he would say, and this man didn’t know me and than a elderly woman stands up comes over to me and takes me to the altar and prayed for me and I just lost it, I cried so much and I knew than I needed to change my life and live for God. So I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ and accepted Him as my LORD and Savior and less than a month after I began to feel peace and happiness that I hadn’t in so long! I began to read the bible and change my lifestyle and prayed more until about the second month I decided I want to take the leap of faith and stop using the depression pills because I had felt that God had healed me, I was scared but I flushed them down the toilet and I did have minor physical side effects because I was on them for so long but the peace and joy was still there, I was just so happy and felt so free. I went from being depressed for 5 years and in those 5 years I tried counseling and pills and so many other things and while some are helpful tools but all they did was suppress the depression, what has completely healed me from depression was surrendering to my LORD and Savior Jesus Christ. I share this with you because Its been over a year since I gave my life to Jesus and also changed my ways to live according to what He says and I have not had not one panic attack, I don’t have anxiety, I am immensely happy and love to go out, I have peace and joy, and I don’t take any pills at all and I now sleep at night and Im up doing things during the day and I can truly say I have been freed.

    “Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.”
    ‭‭John‬ ‭8:36‬ ‭

    “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
    ‭‭John‬ ‭14:27

    https://youtu.be/6Tw2ULilpfM

    May God bless you.