• 12 days ago

    I'm scared of and for my husband...

    I feel like I can clearly see the changes in my husband's mental state over the last 6 years or so. We both did drugs recreationally, and both had our issues with chemical dependency. I have dealt with depression and anxiety for most of my life. And my family, on both sides, has experienced a wide range of mental health issues from PTSD to schizophrenia so I am no stranger to the signs and symptoms that come with these kinds of problems. So, it pains me and frustrates me to no end to see my husband going through some of these issues, all while abusing me, gaslighting me and denying he has any problems. Instead he blames me for EVERYTHING wrong in his life, literally projects himself onto me, and continues to ignore his own growing mental illness. I am afraid of him because he gets extremely violent (increasingly so each time), belligerent, blacks out, does meth to the point of psychosis on a regular basis. It's like the psychosis is his daily norm now. I need help. He needs help. I'm truly afraid that one day he is going to kill me inadvertently while in one of his states. I see when my sweetie leaves...his eyes change. His face changes. And the other ones comes in and takes residence in my husbands body. Someone tell me how to get him help without pissing the "other one" off, or tipping him off.

Responses

  • 12 days ago

    RE: I'm scared of and for my husband...

    First of all, you have to get away desperately from him since he is abusing you, and seek professional help for you and him. Your life is in danger and you have to act consequently.
  • 12 days ago

    RE: I'm scared of and for my husband...

    Abbyaskedit, you absolutely need to get out of your home until when/if he gets help! You don't need to, nor should you, stay with him and let him abuse you. You should not be his punching bag and it doesn't matter if he's doing this because of his mental illness or not! Mental illness does not excuse or give permission for anyone to abuse anyone!

    I would first call the following:

    https://www.thehotline.org/
    Their phone number is 1-800-799-7233

    It is the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Tell them your situation and ask them for counsel on what you can do. That is there job. They can give you support and guidance. Please contact them ASAP! You don't know if the next time your husband abuses you is the last, i.e. meaning, death! Please don't wait for that! You are worth more than for anyone to use you as their punching bag!

    Again, please give the hotline a call! 1-800-799-7233

    Debbie
  • 9 days ago

    RE: I'm scared of and for my husband...

    I am new and hope I'm not doing this wrong. I just wanted to reiterate what the others have said. You have to get out and get help for yourself. At this stage it probably would not be wise for you to let him know you are leaving, just go to a safe place. I've read the most dangerous time for a domestic violence victim is after they leave. Just get out. My ex husband was emotionally abusive. I felt sorry for him because of his childhood but he never felt sorry for me. Please post an update whatever you decide to do
  • 9 days ago

    RE: I'm scared of and for my husband...

    I am new and hope I'm not doing this wrong. I just wanted to reiterate what the others have said. You have to get out and get help for yourself. At this stage it probably would not be wise for you to let him know you are leaving, just go to a safe place. I've read the most dangerous time for a domestic violence victim is after they leave. Just get out. My ex husband was emotionally abusive. I felt sorry for him because of his childhood but he never felt sorry for me. Please post an update whatever you decide to do
  • 8 days ago

    RE: I'm scared of and for my husband...

    First, I agree with the other commenters seek shelter elsewhere, he is not in a right state of mind and this could be very dangerous. I will repost the information another user posted


    1-800-799-7233
    https://www.thehotline.org/


    This is the testimony of my life, and I felt the need to share it with you.
    I suffered depression for many years and did drugs to a point where I could just not handle it anymore, my soul felt trapped and I had a void in my heart that money or drugs or therapy or anything from this world could not fill.. until I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ and accepted Him as my one and only Savior. I decided at that moment to commit myself to God and He freed me from depression. Something that had a hold of me for 5 long years and nothing and no one could help, just vanished at my surrendering to Christ. My spouse also had an attachment to alcohol that was interfering in our lives but I prayed to God to change what I could not and He did, One day my husband felt in his heart that what he was doing was wrong and he himself stopped drinking and has not touched alcohol since, I know that was God who Interfered and changed his heart because every time I brought it up it turned into an argument. But when I humbled myself before God and left it in his hands thats when my husband truly changed. There was a light at the end of tunnel I was in..I just had to make the choice to go to it.


    https://youtu.be/aC5Bc7IXJ_M
  • 8 days ago

    RE: I'm scared of and for my husband...

    You are going to become a DV statistic if you don't get away. Violent drug abusers and the people they abuse have to reach a bottom before it will stop. The bottom only stops getting lower when one or both are dead. You love him enough to stay and die. He doesn't love you enough as a course of action to get help and not hurt you. Save yourself first. Leave and DO NOT let him know where you are. Really think about what he has done to you. Take as long as you need. If you then feel you want to help save him and / or your relationship, do it from a safe distance on YOUR terms until he shows substantial verifiable progress. You're a hostage and a slave right now and if you think about it, maybe you always were. If it makes you feel any better... if he kills you in a psychotic state and goes to prison, he won't have any meth... probably. If he gets away with it, you're dead and he's like Cheech and Chong in '83... Still Smokin'.