• 17 days ago

    My mom is depressing me or making me crazy

    I’m 30 I moved my mom in around 2 years ago. She has copd smokes is on oxygen and a drug addict. She takes methadone everyday and when moving in all I asked is to keep up on the place. I must mention we live in a 2 bed room apt. It’s not very big. But day in day out she just sleeps only gets up for methadone or bathroom. It’s killing me watching her waste away but she refuses to do anything she won’t go to the doctor. Just last week screaming help after walking to bathroom to per and couldn’t breathe. Yet when I finally have enough and start to tell her her you gotta get up move around go to doctor ect. ect. I’m an *** just leave me alone. Threatening to move out but she never does. I don’t know what to do anymore help

Responses

  • 17 days ago

    RE: My mom is depressing me or making me crazy

    It's your home, isn't it? Your home - your rules. If she doesn't comply by the rules, then she has to move. Of course, you don't throw her out in the street, but I'm sure there are options.

    One of them is that if she's not already, you can help her get on Medicaid and you could move her into an Assisted Living Facility, and Medicaid will pay for it, as long as she doesn't have the money to pay for it. If she doesn't want to move there, then she will have to start doing what you ask of her - as long as what you are asking isn't beyond her physical or mental ability.

    Bottom line is just because she is your mom doesn't give her the right to do nothing.

    She may not be able to get into treatment on her own, but you or someone could help her with that.

    If transportation is an issue, there's probably a shuttle service for elderly and disabled. You could give them a call to find out what you need to do to set this up for her. Again, I don't know how much or little she is capable of doing, so you would have to modify some of this.

    You would likely have to be to get the ball rolling on things such as the shuttle, Medicaid, etc., and take her to those places; but once they are in place, she should then have the means to do certain things.

    I know that it's hard. I have been taking care of my mom and her husband for years. They don't live with me, so that part is much easier for me.

    At any rate - evaluate what you are asking of her, and if it's reasonable, then expect her to comply. IF she doesn't, then let her know that if she wants to stay with you, then she has to do her share of whatever it is she needs to do - and if she chooses to do nothing, then you can't let her stay there any longer. Tell her that you won't throw her on the streets, but.........then tell her what her options are, i.e. one of them could be Assisted Living through Medicaid, and any other option you may know of.

    Best wishes to you!
    Debbie