• 8 months ago

    Dreams of Insanity

    A few years ago I had a nightmare that came true, people say that it may have been a premonition. There were 4 things that were to happen in my life according to the nightmare. 1) The company I worked for was going to lose a lot of money. 2) I was going to get fired. 3) I was going to have legal issues. 4) I was going to file for bankruptcy. The nightmare became a reality the same day which started with greedy solicitors from a cult that arrived at my work place and harassed me. After several more months Microsoft Outlook hackers sent me a tricky e-mail with a virus which spread through the network & the company lost about 100K. I got fired & I refused to sign a 4 page Employee Separation Agreement tailored made for me by their lawyers Moxon & Bowles considering the company broke civil laws by allowing a solicitor from a cult into the workplace. I was therefore denied my $2000 severance check. The employer denied me unemployment insurance by the EDD due to break of their company policies such as failure to delete spam. The EDD rep was very upset with me but once I reported the issue about the solicitor from the cult, EDD was in my favor & scolded the human resources of the company. I got my EDD benefits rather quickly. This bought me some time while I attempted to get my life together but I was never as happy as I was when I worked that full time job because I had seniority and I was making good money. Some of the employees were like family to me. Since my termination, I have not found a job that made me happy and haven’t been able to earn what I used to. After the job loss I became severely depressed & suffered much anxiety after loosing 4 jobs in a short period. I lost over 50 friends due to legal action against me by the cult and loss of my job. I did make new friends but we only get together on special occasions like events a few times per year. We keep in touch on Facebook but this is not sufficient for me. I'm now working a temp job and praying that it will turn into a perm job, I do have to get through 90 day probation for the 4th time in just a couple of years. I used to be independent & I had my own apartment but after my premonition nightmare I now rent a room in a family house. Unfortunately I live with 2 relatives that are alcoholics. My private room is my safe haven when I'm there but we share the kitchen. The bad energy from the alcoholism can be overwhelming. I try & spend time volunteering at community temple when I'm out of work. I’m also receiving advice from an independent practitioner on how to have a more positive attitude in the working world and in general. I believe in karma therefore complaining or bad critical remarks about the non-optimum conditions at some jobs will only cause me more suffering. It’s probably best to find employment that is more suitable but sometimes I say “beggers can’t be choosers” especially with my deteriorating body issues and commute to get to work . Nevertheless because harsh criticism can induce the boomerang effect it is best that I emphasize on improving that part of my attitude. I took initiative a week ago to confess in writing any unacceptable behaviors while I had been employed at my last few jobs and I plan to turn in my write-up to my practitioner this weekend. Whether it involved break of policy, unethical or immature behavior I have written it up and will only be viewed by my trusted practitioner who is like family to me and will remain confidential. Perhaps this will help me start fresh and new and not keep complaining on how my current employment & compensation is not as great as the job I had before the nightmare premonition.