• 1 month ago

    Misdiagnosis and meds haven’t worked so far.

    I am writing this post to get it off my chest and maybe even get some advice. I am currently 18 and live alone 13 hours from any family. At 11 years old I was diagnosed with severe depression after my parents found out I was suicidal (I didn’t even know the word at the time but I wanted to die). At 13 I started struggling with panic attacks and high anxiety as well. At around 15 my doctor was convinced I had bipolar 2 but because I was under 18 wasn’t diagnosed. A few months after that I was told I was bpd as well. I didn’t do any research but I was in and out of hospitals and multiple doctors told my parents and I the same thing: on top of depression and anxiety, they all said I had bpd and bipolar. When I was younger I didn’t seek for the help I need and always tried to push it to the side. Due to a big move I didn’t see any psychiatrist the entire year until last month. After moving and straightening my life out, I’ve been a lot better, but still struggle a lot. After seeing a psychiatrist for the first time in a long while, I took tests and told her everything I thought was important. In the she told me she doesn’t see any bipolar traits (because I’ve been doing so well for awhile); I used to have a cycle, 3 months of depression 3 months of normality. No mania. After I moved the cycle was broken. I was told from the first visit I do not have bipolar but I do have bpd. She also said bpd can go away and looks like it could go away for me. I was nervous and didn’t really believe her so I scheduled the next soonest appointment. She also said she didn’t see any depression at the time, the only thing she prescribed me were low dosage anxiety pills. I’ve realized now after focusing on how I feel and why I feel it that my main problem is the depression. But it’s not constant. I’ll be completely fine and happy and one bad thought will trigger me into a very deep low. The only thing that helps at that time is smoking. I smoke medically when I get really depressed and it always goes away until the next time I get triggered. Throughout my teenage years I have tried a boat load of meds. When I was 15 I was on antidepressants, antipsychotics, sleeping pills, and anxiety meds. I have tried so many medication from all kinds of doctors but I’ve either had negative side effects or it does absolutely nothing for me. I know medication doesn’t fix everything but I know it’s supposed to help. I’ve tried a lot of SSRI’s, a couple SNRI’s, and Wellbutrin SR and XR. Doctors have tried adding more meds changing dosages or whatever but nothings helped.... It’s hard to even function when I hit that low, but I don’t want to rely on marijuana because it hinders me from my dream job (despite it being legal). I know my health is more important than a job, but I’d like to function normally without using marijuana. It’s also hard for me to keep hoping that a medication is going to work because I’ve tried so many for so many years....

Responses

  • 1 month ago

    RE: Misdiagnosis and meds haven’t worked so far.

    your story sounds like mine. if u want to talk more find me on ig! @ mlefarr
  • 1 month ago

    RE: Misdiagnosis and meds haven’t worked so far.

    Have you ever tried therapy? I mean, really give it a chance? You are right in that medication alone is not enough to "fix" most people, and what meds can't do, therapy can IF given the right therapist (for you), and your willingness to take it seriously and do the work.

    When with a trained therapist, one that you like, can trust, and connect with - you will be amazed at how much your life will change over time! Many people lose patience with therapy because you don't see results overnight - it takes time and hard work, and honesty with yourself and your therapist - but I can't even begin to describe how worth it therapy can be!

    Something to think about.

    Debbie
  • RE: Misdiagnosis and meds haven’t worked so far.

    Hi! I'm not used to responding to stuff like this because I overthink it but I'm going for it anyways. Ok so I feel like I get you and where you're coming from. I was in a similar situation and I've been on probably a lot of the same medications you have to include the ones you listed. They've all failed and after a while I got to the point that you're at as far as frustration and just wanting it to finally get better and giving new things a shot, putting in real hope and effort, just to be let down when it fails. Or at least that's how I've seen it. Unfortunately, there is no approved medication for BPD yet. The only thing that they done studies on and have the evidence to support the claim that it helps people with BPD is DBT. That's the only thing currently approved for the treatment of BPD. I started learning and using things from DBT about a year ago and it totally helped with my anger, hostility and irritability and it is supposed to help with the depression side too but it hasn't for me yet. But it might for you! I understand not wanting to have to rely on anything whether it be drugs or medications just to make it out alive from those really bad lows. I have hope that one day there will be a medication or easier treatment method to help people get out of those really bad sudden out of nowhere lowest of lows. But if you haven't checked out DBT yet, maybe that will help. Hope all goes well. Hang in there and good luck!
    - and of all the medications I've been on from ssris and snris to antipsychotics and anxiety medications etc as well, the one that I felt helped the most or did the least damage was Lamictal. It might have contributed to my anger but it definitely didn't make me more depressed like SSRIs
  • 3 days ago

    RE: Misdiagnosis and meds haven’t worked so far.

    God bless you, I was not diagnosed until 23, when my OCD got sooo bad. Meds worked for a while, but 20 yrs later I have extreme depression and Bipolar. I have tried everything but each episode just gets worse and longer. I wish you success and happiness! You are definitely not alone.
      • 3 days ago
        Has your Psychiatrist ever mentioned to you a class of medications called, "MAOI"?

        If you have tried a lot of different medications under the care of a Psychiatrist, it could mean that you are treatment resistant. That means that you don't respond to any med. A few meds within the MAOI class have been noted they have higher chance of working for someone who is treatment resistant.

        I am one of them. My doctor tried many different meds on me, none of which worked, until she referred me to someone else and after trying one more med, he prescribed Nardil (MAOI) and have been on it ever since - about 28 years! I also take lithium. I was diagnosed with bipolar type 2 with leaning toward depression.

        I don't know if you were diagnosed with BP1 or BP2 and I don't know if that makes a difference re taking an MAOI or not, which is why you might want to bring it up to your doctor.

        MAOI's are not typically prescribed much anymore (they were one of the first anti-depressants) because there are some food restrictions and several medications they conflict with - but that only becomes an issue if you don't pay attention and inform every doctor you go to that you are taking an MAOI. The food restrictions are not an issue for me because I don't eat much of them on the list.

        Anyway, you might want to do some research on MAOI's and talk with your doctor if you are interested. I know that just because it was a life saver for me doesn't mean it will be for you too, but it might be worth looking into and discussing with your doctor.

        Debbie
      • 2 days ago
        We are all proud of you! You are one of the strong person. Be strong. Let itZ go means you done. So Close this chapter from your life. No need to stuck on that path again. We all proud to see your approach. Best of luck!