• 26 days ago

    Misdiagnosis and meds haven’t worked so far.

    I am writing this post to get it off my chest and maybe even get some advice. I am currently 18 and live alone 13 hours from any family. At 11 years old I was diagnosed with severe depression after my parents found out I was suicidal (I didn’t even know the word at the time but I wanted to die). At 13 I started struggling with panic attacks and high anxiety as well. At around 15 my doctor was convinced I had bipolar 2 but because I was under 18 wasn’t diagnosed. A few months after that I was told I was bpd as well. I didn’t do any research but I was in and out of hospitals and multiple doctors told my parents and I the same thing: on top of depression and anxiety, they all said I had bpd and bipolar. When I was younger I didn’t seek for the help I need and always tried to push it to the side. Due to a big move I didn’t see any psychiatrist the entire year until last month. After moving and straightening my life out, I’ve been a lot better, but still struggle a lot. After seeing a psychiatrist for the first time in a long while, I took tests and told her everything I thought was important. In the she told me she doesn’t see any bipolar traits (because I’ve been doing so well for awhile); I used to have a cycle, 3 months of depression 3 months of normality. No mania. After I moved the cycle was broken. I was told from the first visit I do not have bipolar but I do have bpd. She also said bpd can go away and looks like it could go away for me. I was nervous and didn’t really believe her so I scheduled the next soonest appointment. She also said she didn’t see any depression at the time, the only thing she prescribed me were low dosage anxiety pills. I’ve realized now after focusing on how I feel and why I feel it that my main problem is the depression. But it’s not constant. I’ll be completely fine and happy and one bad thought will trigger me into a very deep low. The only thing that helps at that time is smoking. I smoke medically when I get really depressed and it always goes away until the next time I get triggered. Throughout my teenage years I have tried a boat load of meds. When I was 15 I was on antidepressants, antipsychotics, sleeping pills, and anxiety meds. I have tried so many medication from all kinds of doctors but I’ve either had negative side effects or it does absolutely nothing for me. I know medication doesn’t fix everything but I know it’s supposed to help. I’ve tried a lot of SSRI’s, a couple SNRI’s, and Wellbutrin SR and XR. Doctors have tried adding more meds changing dosages or whatever but nothings helped.... It’s hard to even function when I hit that low, but I don’t want to rely on marijuana because it hinders me from my dream job (despite it being legal). I know my health is more important than a job, but I’d like to function normally without using marijuana. It’s also hard for me to keep hoping that a medication is going to work because I’ve tried so many for so many years....

Responses

  • 25 days ago

    RE: Misdiagnosis and meds haven’t worked so far.

    your story sounds like mine. if u want to talk more find me on ig! @ mlefarr
  • 25 days ago

    RE: Misdiagnosis and meds haven’t worked so far.

    Have you ever tried therapy? I mean, really give it a chance? You are right in that medication alone is not enough to "fix" most people, and what meds can't do, therapy can IF given the right therapist (for you), and your willingness to take it seriously and do the work.

    When with a trained therapist, one that you like, can trust, and connect with - you will be amazed at how much your life will change over time! Many people lose patience with therapy because you don't see results overnight - it takes time and hard work, and honesty with yourself and your therapist - but I can't even begin to describe how worth it therapy can be!

    Something to think about.

    Debbie