• 8 months ago

    I Feel Like I'm Going To Die, And/Or Lose My Mind! Losing Grip Of Reality!

    Hello ~

    My name is, Cody. I am 30 y.o. I am currently going through something that I have never experienced within my lifetime before. Like, EVER! It is a seriously scary feeling, and I do not know what to do.

    To explain,........

    One evening (around 3 A.M.), I was laying in my bed watching comedy videos on my cellphone (YouTube). Then, unexpectedly, I instantly shot out of bed and began pacing back and fourth within my living room. My boyfriend woke up and asked me, "What's wrong?"

    I replied, "I do not know!? I feel very terrified and scared!"

    I began having racing, scary thoughts. For example, I felt as if I had a brain aneurysm and was going to die. Also, I felt as if I was losing grip of reality. The feeling was like, I was becoming "too aware" (if that makes sense?)

    Thus, I instantly began cooking breakfast to take my mind off of these things. Then, when the time came (9 - 11 A.M.), I went to the E.R.


    (I do not drink alcohol, and I have never done any drugs within my lifetime AT ALL! The only bad habit I have is smoking tobacco/cigarettes. That is it!)

    While at the E.R., I explained to the Physician that I could not go to sleep due to having these thoughts. They insisted that I take Attarax (itching cream) for this issue...... Anyway, this obviously did not work for me. As the days went by, I found that this situation was becoming worse by the day. Thus, I returned to the E.R.

    After my second visit, they insisted that I take 1 Xanax and a Benedryl. I was completely scared because, remember, I DO NOT TAKE DRUGS! Yet, the Physician put my mind at ease and told me that it would definitely help me. I took the medication(s), and I discovered that it really helped me. I found that I went to sleep that night with ease and I awoke in a pretty good condition.

    Yet, after a few days the same thoughts and feeling(s) had returned to me. I was continuing to pace back and fourth, and the feeling/thought(s) of me dieing had returned (I.E.: Brain Aneurysm, Losing grip of reality, Becoming too aware, etc.)

    Thus, I made a third visit to the E.R. They advised me to go to a Behavioral Health Center in my location, and they informed me that I could get better help there. In this case, they were so wrong.....

    While there, they prescribed me Zoloft and Trintellix. They also informed me that, what I was going through is "Anxiety/Panic Disorder." They explained to me that, I also "might be" depressive. Thus, this is what the Zoloft and Trintellix would help to get rid of.....

    Or, so they thought......

    After a week of being on these medications, I awoke one day and I felt "SUICIDAL!!!!!" I have NEVER, and I mean NEVER!! in my life felt suicidal at all! I instantly informed them of this and they immediately pulled me off of these medications.

    Finally, I received a family Physician and began seeing him for treatment. He informed me that, I do indeed have anxiety/panic disorder. Thus, he placed me on what I am currently on today.

    Buspirone 10 MG
    Trazodone 50 MG
    Trazodone 100 MG

    Yet, I feel these medications are not working. I do feel as if they have subdued the thoughts a little bit, but they are still there lingering. I have constantly asked for a CT-Scan, yet to no avail.

    My question is, "what is this that I am going through!?!?" How is it that, I can be normal one minute to all of a sudden being having these thoughts and feelings? I constantly feel that, at any moment I am going to die and/or lose my mind. I have been begging for help, yet it seems as if no one is listening to me or hearing me. Please, help me. I pray to God that, this feeling goes away. I just want to go back to how I used to be. Please, if any Physicians out there can save my life and/or help me please respond.


  • 8 months ago

    RE: I Feel Like I'm Going To Die, And/Or Lose My Mind! Losing Grip Of Reality!

    Thank you for sharing your story. I really hope putting thoughts into words here was helpful, giving yourself an outlet.

    Talk to someone. Below is a list of resources that may be able to help you.


    Please check back here and let us know how you're doing.
  • 8 months ago

    RE: I Feel Like I'm Going To Die, And/Or Lose My Mind! Losing Grip Of Reality!

    This definitely does sound like Anxiety/Panic Disorder. I know because I have it. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain and yes, it is terrifying and yes, it does make you feel like you are hyper-aware. I began having panic attacks after giving birth to my third daughter at the age of 28. I had never had one before that. Now I find that certain medications can trigger it or if I am under a lot of stress for any reason.
    Anti-depressants can keep it under control (I live a reasonable normal life now). However, you have to find the one that works for you. My son also has the disorder and had to be put on anti-depressants at the young age of 6 because I recognized it and took him to a child psychiatrist. Zoloft worked for him for many years, but stopped working when he was a teenager and they switched him to Prozac. Paxil was and still is a life-saver for me.
    Hang in there and keep trying to get a doctor to work with you to get you on the right medication that will help. I still believe that the older anti-depressants (Prozac, Pail, etc.)work better than the newer ones from talking with others I know who have been diagnosed in the last few years, but that is just my opinion.
      • 8 months ago
        Also, I forgot to mention, it usually takes up to a month for the medications to make you feel better so hang in there!
  • 8 months ago

    RE: I Feel Like I'm Going To Die, And/Or Lose My Mind! Losing Grip Of Reality!

    Hello Cody, I feel your fear. I'm not a doctor, just a 77 year old Navy Veteran that may very well be in the moderate range of Parkinson's, as I see to have been experiencing about 90% of the 'known' symptoms, but at your age I doubt that applies in your case. My granddaughter's mother is epileptic and has had the issues you've mentioned. I'm still not certain that I've developed PD, as like you I don't do drugs, don't drink, but do smoke. I still have concerns about what I and my 5 team mates were fed during our intensive training as I have never been sick a single day in my life, not even a cold, although I have had two heart attacks, the last of which killed me while en-route to Tulsa's Cardiac ER when I 'flat lined on the helicopter. Obviously I survived it, but was put on numerous drugs that I stopped only a few days later. Could that be what's happening to me? Not too sure, but some seem to think I should try cannibus oil. Never having been keen on marijuana, I'm not really good for that, but may have to try it as my symptoms check with Web Md has gone from Cerebral Angina, to mini stroke, to heart attack to MS to TD to now PD, which seems to be more of what I'm experiencing.
    As I rarely go to doctors, I'm thinking that I may try cannibus before subjecting my body to any more drugs. It can only kill me, but I've been there, done that, and I'm back in life again. Have you thought about cannibus?