Responses

  • 6 months ago

    RE: Friends and family don't believe me...

    My husband and my family understood what I was going through, however, it was my in-laws that didn't believe me.. to the extent that my m-i-l told my husband that he knew from the beginning that I had a low pain threshold. My husband informed his mother that she was very incorrect and that she had no idea the constant pain my poor body was in. The only thing I can recommend is to have him go with you to your doctor appointments and once he hears from the doctor what is going on with your body maybe he will be more understanding. There is a support group that I belong to online that gives you a way to discuss what is going on with your body... the group is called Fibro Colors Awareness group, the group was started by someone that has Fibromyalgia and we have wonderful members. Please look them up on Facebook and request to join. Sending warm and gentle hugs your way.
  • 6 months ago

    RE: Friends and family don't believe me...

    My first husband was like that, not even considering how much I hurt. I ended up just sucking it up, which really made me sick inside and the pain worsened. My husband, now of 30 years has been wonderful and considerate. I have learned a lot about me and pain. I own the pain, but I don't let it define me. I like to educate myself about my many different pains. I have had six major surgeries in five years, which brought my fibromyalgia in full-widespread pain. In addition to having arthritis. Moving in spite of pain really works on many levels, but what it does to your self esteem is so important. Please find ways to make you feel better, and stay in touch with people who do get it. I have a great church family which really helps. If you read the bible, read Job. I also found scripture to get me through some really, really, rough days. May you be blessed and I will pray for you to find peace.
  • 6 months ago

    RE: Friends and family don't believe me...

    Pain is subjective - it's different for all of us. I have an unusual form of neuropathy and I'm always in pain. It took my husband almost 3 years to even believe that I have an illness. Finally after going with me to every specialist or diagnostic procedure for a few years - he believed me. I didn't understand why it took him so long to believe me. After a dumb argument one day, he admitted that he was afraid of me being sick and if he just lived in denial, he wouldn't have to worry about it. Good luck, I wish you the best!
  • 6 months ago

    RE: Friends and family don't believe me...

    Unless they walk in your shoes they won't know what kind of pain you through.. Luckily my boyfriend experienced some pain from an injury and he got some sort of sense what I what going through... I believe you.. I feel your pain
  • 6 months ago

    RE: Friends and family don't believe me...

    This is the best overview of chronic pain that I have seen to date. It seems to explain what my wife lives with all the time. Family members didn’t “get it” until they watched this. Now, they do,

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgCfkA9RLrM

    This article covers the same territory, minus the video section that goes into more detail on behavioral strategies for chronic pain sufferers.

    http://www.mayoclinicproceedings.org/article/S0025-6196(15)00243-8/fulltext#back-bib36
  • 6 months ago

    RE: Friends and family don't believe me...

    I have ongoing pain in different parts of my mouth--upper jaw molars, lower jaw molars, front teeth, roof of mouth, tongue. I know something about medicine and science, but I can't explain what has been happening to me for over a year on and off, mostly on. Neither can my family doctor, many dentists, ear/nose/throat doctor, etc, the later having referred me to an oral surgeon, with whom I have an appointment to go over x-rays and CT? (sonogram?) The only time i do not suffer is when I'm asleep with my c-pap gear on. I talked to my sister about this today, and she said she has suffered from something like this, too and attributes this to the weird, undiscovered Lithuanian nervous illness that has afflicted this side of the family in many ways, chiefly affecting the legs. My husband tries to help, but i don't think he realizes what intense, ongoing pain I'm in. I'm a writer and linguist, so I find it highly ironic that I must suffer in this way, but at least I'm not a cripple like so many others in the family.
      • 5 months ago
        I'm sooo sorry Let it empower you! Research, print, video - take yourself back, those who love you should be willing to understand and listen. Took my husband a few years but after going to doctor appointment after listening to my research after hearing everything that I have found and printed and recorded and given to my insurance given to the state of California it's all important to do so that way you are taking back your power I hope this somehow helped you
  • 5 months ago

    RE: Friends and family don't believe me...

    I have had serious heart attacks, surgeries and lived in constant pain for years. I am only partially sighted in the one eye I have left to me and am a diabetic. I was finally declared disabled and unable to work and put on a full disability pension. My wife and son have refused to accept this as a fact and constantly state that I must be faking it and that if I only followed their 'advice' I would get better. This has gone on for ten years now and is verry difficult to handle. Even when advised directly as to the facts by my doctors they still act the same way. My other older children have no issues accepting my changed conditions. Obviously something else motivates my son and wife and they will not change. All you can do in the face of obstinate uninformed refusal to accept your situation is to simply tune out the non-believers - and that can be hard. It will permanently colour your relationship almost regardles of what you do. Just look after yourself and ignore the naysayers. Ultimately divorce can be the unfortunate answer. These kinds of people are being jerks.
  • 5 months ago

    RE: Friends and family don't believe me...

    I have and I find it ironic when all of a sudden they are experiencing we are to take notice of their problem. I tell them to suck it up, that's what I go through every day. Unfortunately people are narrow minded if it doesn't involve them they are clueless
      • 5 months ago
        BOTTOM LINE "You are the only one who cares that you are in pain. No one else does or ever will"
  • 5 months ago

    RE: Friends and family don't believe me...

    I deal with the same problem. My boyfriend which I have lived with for 8 years has some back issues, no surgery. I know he suffers with pain most days. I have several issues and 2 previous surgeries. Stenosis in neck and back The neck surgery was successful but I still have some back issues. I have been going to pt for 1 year and now I want closure. My surgeon said i have slippage in l4 and l5 and 2 bone spur. Neither the pm doctor nor my boyfriend believe the pain can be so bad that I am regularly missing social events and work. I have a high tolerance for pain and have not asked for any pain meds since recovering from the back surgery 2 years ago. I recently asked and was turned down. The pain is so intense sometimes I want to pass out. I have surgery scheduled in 30 days but can not manage. I have tried to be creative in dealing with controlling the pain. Already to long of a story, boyfriend has a safe full of pain meds but will give them to most anyone but me. I am trying to figure out how or why someone would think you would fake that much pain. I may lose my job but hope to hang on to my sanity. I have explored and used other pain management techniques and I am slowly going broke. There is an end and after 5 weeks of psych evaluation i have been approved for a pain patch. I know people who for no apparent reason walk in and out of doctors offices with more pills than I could take in 6 months nor would I want to. I want pain resolution not pain masking. Good news is those people sell their pills making me a criminal. WTF! I cant wait for this to be resolved so I can make some positive changes in my life. I Have been a bodybuilder and marathon runner, very involved in sports and physical activities. I want my life back. I hope the people in your life will finally come to understand your level of pain discomfort. It is a lonely and sad place to hang out alone. I am optimistic that in 30 days I will put the worst of this behind me but I am afraid I will have to leave behind several people that I love and care about. I am not a winer nor complainer but it is frustrating to deal with. I hope u will get some understanding and support, you have mine. Thanks for letting me share. T
      • Can you elaborate about the stenosis in your neck?
        Was a Stent put in?
        How is your neck now after these few months?
  • 5 months ago

    RE: Friends and family don't believe me...

    I want my only son to understand too. He just refuses to acknowledge it and changes subject. So I know how you feel, so frustrated!
  • 5 months ago

    RE: Friends and family don't believe me...

    Hello.

    I have found that unless a person has chronic pain or health problems themselves they have trouble understanding what you are experiencing. I have managed moderate to severe chronic pain for over 40 years due to serious spinal problems and osteoarthritis. My own wife did not fully understand until she had a back injury at work and became disabled. She admitted that after going through what she did.

    An old saying that mentions only understanding after walking in someone else's shoes is so true. Some people will never understand and do not seem to want to. Those of us who are disabled to to chronic pain are often discriminated against, ridiculed and treated rudely. It is a sad bu true fact of life.

    My advice is to stand your ground, keep a positive attitude and be careful who you share your pain experience with.
      • 5 months ago
        I understand how you feel when you shared that -those of us who are disabled or have chronic pain, are often discriminated against, ridiculed or treated badly.
        My husband and kids watch me struggle with chronic pain due to RA. It's my landlord and neighbors that treat me badly. I've heard them call me lazy. They tease me because I don't go out very much.
        I used to walk so much. I tried for 8 miles on my "good days".
        But now I don't go out much and I have stopped the long walks.
        I feel guilty that I can't work hard. Walking as far as I could was satisfying.
        My landlord has made surprise visits to the house and asked me to clean up the other tenants messes after they have moved. And also the landlord has had things fixed here and has asked me to clean up afterward. I comply and suffer at the same time. I've told him that I have arthritis. He doesn't understand though.
  • 4 months ago
  • 4 months ago

    RE: Friends and family don't believe me...

    You are in the right place! Most of the people post the same thing - NOBODY BELIEVES YOU! You must be faking, just a hypochondriac, you're looking for attention ..... and the list goes on. I know how it feels. It seems that most often if you take him to the doc's every time you go. Eventually, they get it. But, in the meantime, take care of yourself. When you hurt or you're so exhausted with the added stress from pain - REST! Also - STOP HIDING THE PAIN! We all hide it or at least the severity of it - stop doing that! Be sure you do whatever you need to help yourself. I wish you the best.
      • I feel like I don't deserve to rest or go to bed early, when everyone earns a living.
        I don't deserve to eat sleep enjoy a nature walk or lounge in the backyard.
        I guilt myself until the stress creates a full blown flare up that kicks me right in the ass
        Sometimes I throw my back out completely and have to go to the hospital for a shot of whatever it is.
  • 1 month ago

    RE: Friends and family don't believe me...

    im going thru the same thing. its hard to try to walk to the bathroom on a bad day feeling like the most important people in your life are looking at you and thinking its all in your head. ive never hurt like this.
      • Wooden chairs, bus seats, high heel shoes, jeans
        All this I can't do because it's painful