• 20 days ago

    The Pill

    I was sitting at home today. I was watching Youtube and listening to podcasts about adjusting to major changes in life. Specifically, I will be going to college in over a month. Ever since summer let on, I had been trying to prepare myself mentally - not so much for the time when my pill would take effect, but for the times it no longer worked. Anyway, my mother had been asking me what I was watching, so being me, I told her up front. I told her it was about routines and creating new ones for different schedules. Immediately, she riddled off that everything will be fine if I just take the pill, and I do not need anything else like groups or therapists.
    Periodically, she gives this spill about everything being planned around this pill. It's hard to explain that this pill does not solve all the issues. What about the evenings going out with friends? What about the times in the morning, when my pill hasn't been taken yet? Or the times at night, when the pill would only keep me awake a night more than without? I have really tried to get her to learn more about the disorder, but she has a neurotypical brain, making it hard for me to explain what is going on in my head.