• 4 months ago

    I'm getting crushed. I need help!

    I've been dealing with ADHD since I was 12. For my entire life, I thought it was a gift. Something special that no one else had. My secret super power!
    I began to understand there was something wrong with me since I turned 17, I had dozens of flawless plans and visions for my future, So perfect that they could take me to the moon in just a few years... And here I am, A 21 year old wasted ***, Working at a *** office in the worst country in the world.
    Anyway, I applied for the Japanese government "MEXT" scholarship and had to pay a *** load of money to get everything prepared for it. Now I've sent all my documents to the embassy and got only 1 month to re-study all the high school math, Chemistry and physics. Days are passing by and this scholarship is a critical thing for me. Let me put it this way; It's now or never.
    No although these words all came out of my own mouth, I can't seem to do anything about this. I'm already short on time and my little super power is really *** me up right now. I just can't sit the hell down and do what I know I should.
    Currently, I don't have enough money to pay for a doctor visit and the medicines, But I never used the medicines anyway. That's why I've wasted so many years of my life so far.
    I might have to get my hands on some medication, But they're crazy expensive for me both prescribed and off-street.
    I need someone to push me through this. My mom always did it but now I'm all alone and I'm getting super ***.
    This scholarship is my last chance. I don't wanna go this way. I don't like this ending. Help!

Responses

  • 2 months ago

    RE: I'm getting crushed. I need help!

    I only now read this, and all I can say is that I hope things turned out okay. I do want you to know that even if things didn't go so well it isn't actually the end of the world. I've had to go through some rough spots in life, and made it through. The first time I went to college I took out a loan to pay for it. Then I totally screwed up and had to drop out. I moved and got a job, realized I really did want a college degree, and applied to another college. Fortunately the second time I was able to find financial aid that I didn't have to pay back, and managed to make it through college (barely, but I did it). I have never managed to have high paying jobs, but I managed to eventually find one that fit me pretty well, despite the ADHD, and I kept that job for just over 30 years, with a feeling of accomplishment when I retired. I also eventually managed to pay off the loan I took out to attend the first University, but that was in an age when the interest on student loans wasn't so bad. If things didn't work out the way you had hoped, there will be other opportunities, you just can't see them yet. Don't give up!