• 1 month ago

    MidLife Crisis?

    60 yr old male with sex drive that surpasses wife of 35 yrs. She continues to engage in sex, but it seems completely perfunctory. Mostly at 4 am and lasts a minute. It's like she gets me off and assumes her duty complete. She has basically aged into a prude. Still quite attractive, but just not that much into sex. Refuses oral (cunnilingus). Can't recall last orgasm; and doesn't seem to care. I, on the other hand, treat each erection like a holy grail. I've not been outside the marriage, but do find myself thinking about it. At times, dominating my thoughts like a teenager. Every other aspect of the relationship is fine. We are educated, economically developed, great health/active, etc. Just this alarming concern that I can't shake. When I try to talk about it, she goes into a rant about how lucky I am to still be getting it, with frequency, etc. The social media doesn't help, with several old flames out there lurking and flirting, not to mention the ease of access to craigslist, etc. Surely this a common "problem". Any advice/support would be greatly appreciated. Not an easy subject to broach, so thought a forum might help.

Responses

  • 1 month ago

    RE: MidLife Crisis?

    Man you can make her for your pleasure. She is younger than you. She definitely has a lot desire for sex with you. You are man you need to go and make her to do it. She may or may not come she is a woman. Sometimes women shy lol. It is called mother nature. Even if you will be 70 she will be ready for you cause she is a lot younger than you. You better keep an eye on her rather than look after other woman for temporary fun. Don't lose her because of outsider
      • 1 month ago
        I'm sorry if I wasn't clear... she is my age and we've been married 35 yrs. Upon reflection, I should probably just count my lucky stars. God blessed man with two heads, but only enough blood to operate one at a time.
      • 1 month ago
        Maybe this is about expectations ...

        You said yourself that social media doesn't help - well, no, it doesn't because it can give you unrealistic expectations. How many 60 yo women are absolute sex kittens after 35 years of marriage? I'm not knocking you, just trying to add a bit of perspective. Also, you might find that the old flames putter out when it gets down to the nitty-gritty. The grass is always greener ...

        So, what's a man to do, eh? Take long look at your relationship to decide what it is that you really want and then decide how to go about getting it. They say that men use love to get sex and women use sex to get love. So approach things from her point of view. Romance her. Compliment her. Take her away for a romantic weekend. Something worth trying is being there for her all weekend - but make sure you tell her first that you are not looking for sex, just to please her, and do not even attempt to have sex ... not even if she wants to. The idea is to show her that you CARE about her. It's all the little things that you do that count.

        Another thing that might help is doing more around the house. What makes women want to jump into bed is what happens outside of bed ... I've heard it said that there are few things sexier than a man doing the dishes.

        Anyway, all that was to say that thinking outside the box might just spark a reaction...

        Good luck
  • RE: MidLife Crisis?

    When partners are not on the same page sexually, it is often a big strain on the relationship -- no matter your age. How you address the issue is of the highest importance. As with so much in relationships, this comes down to communication. It is often helpful to talk about how much you appreciate and love her. You might explain how not having sex much and how her not enjoying it affects you -- e.g. sad, distant from her, frustrated, hurt... Focusing on wanting the both of you to be happier in the relationship might help her open up to the conversation more. Along with this, you will want to ask her how she feels. How does she feel when you bring up the issue? (e.g. attacked? angry? ashamed? guilty?) Did she used to enjoy sex? What has changed? Does she miss it? By encouraging her to talk, she will hopefully feel like you really care about her and her feelings. If you can get to the point where the two of you feel connected around a common cause (both wanting to feel closer and the relationship to feel more connected), then it becomes a matter of problem solving.

    If she is not open to this, you might try couples therapy. You can explain that this is a very important issue for you, and you fear that not being able to address it together is driving you apart. Take care not to blame her, but rather frame it as a shared problem -- as it truly is.
      • 1 month ago
        Thank you. I believe we have a wonderful relationship and she enjoys the intimacy and we engage quite often. She really enjoys arousing me, but the act itself seems obligatory. Once I climax, it's game over and time to clean up (she keeps wipes at the bedside). Upon reflection and at our age, I really shouldn't be complaining and be thankful for the longstanding, mostly loving relationship.
  • 1 month ago

    RE: MidLife Crisis?

    Real not belive in this love)
  • 1 month ago

    RE: MidLife Crisis?

    Well like me we are still having sex when ever we want it, which cant be bad, but the days of lots of foreplay are over, I'm now 72 and on T shots to keep my erections going and it works, also means I can ejaculate which had almost stopped.

    So if your getting a problem testosterone shots are you way back to a full sex life, takes around 6 weeks to get things fully running, so don't give up, I do my own shots into my stomach with a shallow needle, google Dr Rand McClain to lean about T shots, your find him interesting.

    As for women perhaps testosterone shots will help them?

    NOWHARD