• 6 months ago

    Boyfriend wants me back IVF as single mother planned

    My boyfriend of two years (dont live together) first agreed to do IVF, we even saw a Fertility doctor together, then he claimed he can’t test his sperm because he has to
    hold for three days. (Sometimes he’s abroad for work or holiday without me so he can hold...)

    While planning IVF as a single mother to be and have even ordered sperm and figuring out how to finally tell him, we had a simple discussion last week, that led him to call me a W word. (Who re)
    Now I am planning and have ended the relationship based on the name calling W word. He badly wants me back and even proposed counselling.

    At 44 I dont think I have time for counselling. He also called me the B word before, also called me a gambler, schizophrenic. All is not true. He says words and apologies after. Actually I am tired of him.
    He’s doing everything to get me back. These are my last eggs I really want to try being a mother and I think I will waste my time on him and finally separate.
    By then I will be way too late for motherhood.

    Somehow despite his impulse, anger and imPatience I love him a bit still.

    If you were me would you tell him you are/were planning IVF or just leave the story so he thinks the relationship actually ends based on the name calling?

Responses

  • 6 months ago

    RE: Boyfriend wants me back IVF as single mother planned

    Him calling you whore is a bad sign. I wouldn't go any further until he can prove himself over a period of time to not lose his *** in an argument.
  • 6 months ago

    RE: Boyfriend wants me back IVF as single mother planned

    He's called you a [email protected], b!tch, gambler, and schizophrenic. You've described him as impulsive, angry, and impatient.

    Move on physically and mentally from this guy.

    And separate (1)having a child from (2)this dysfunctional relationship -- they're two things that should not go together.
      • 6 months ago
        nicely said.. i totally agree with you about her.
      • 6 months ago
        Thanks a lot. Very good advice!
      • 6 months ago
        It is good advice. Just need to follow! Sometimes it may take little bit time but will get it detached soon. Best of luck
      • 6 months ago
        yea. thanks a lot
      • I agree with everyone here that these are bad signs. If you find yourself considering taking him back, be careful. At the very least, I suggest that you wait until you've had some arguments and have seen him angry. How he expresses this anger will tell you whether he has possibly truly changed.
      • 5 months ago
        Thanks a lot for reply. But what do you mean wait. With what?
      • 5 months ago
        Yeah why wait? This is not relationship. And with what?
      • I am not suggesting you wait. I was just saying that if you were planning to disregard the advice here and take him back because you think he may have changed, then it would be wise to pay attention to how he deals with his anger going forward.

        In my experience, many people in abusive relationships still love their partner and have trouble leaving them. They are ever hopeful the person will change. Also, they are often uncomfortable expressing these thoughts and feelings because they know others will judge them harshly for them. So, if you were experiencing this kind of struggle, I wanted to offer a path forward for you.
      • 5 months ago
        I see. Thanks a lot for your reply. It’s more clear now.
  • 5 months ago

    RE: Boyfriend wants me back IVF as single mother planned

    Grab this opportunity to dump him (you can live without his verbal abuse) and go after your dream. No explanations required. I hope you get a big fat positive soon!

    Are you sure you love him or are you just so used to having him around that you are mistaking habit and love?
      • 5 months ago
        Yes agree. I grabed to dump him. Going for my dreams. I have never called him anything and told him what his words do to me. High time to think of me..
      • 5 months ago
        I do not love the person I have been with.. I love the person who is not with me. I did not play will not play.
  • 5 months ago

    RE: Boyfriend wants me back IVF as single mother planned

    I have situation with my husband I filed for divorce but he did not want divorce he doesn't even want to leave me. I have a baby but confuse about baby father. But I do not care anymore about the father of my baby. I just want separation from him. I tried many way to get rid of him. I tried to mess up everything in home so that he doesn't not want to be here, but I messed up few thing in home and he cleaned up unbelievable!!! Do not know what to do!!! I do not want to leave this home just because it is convenient location for me.
    My point is you should leave him if possible for you.
  • 5 months ago

    RE: Boyfriend wants me back IVF as single mother planned

    My daughter age 35 had the same problem. NO father/boyfriend is better than Bad father/boyfriend. Have and enjoy your baby I'm sure you will be a wonderful mother. Avoid joint custody at all costs.
  • 5 months ago

    RE: Boyfriend wants me back IVF as single mother planned

    Red flags all over. He's just revealed what he has in store. Run for the hills. You deserve much better.
      • 5 months ago
        right. will get full custody. will run fir the hills. Thx
  • 5 months ago

    RE: Boyfriend wants me back IVF as single mother planned

    If I were you, I'd lose his number right after blocking him on all devices. You're in your 40s, time is running out and he is anything but parent material. You owe him nothing, no explanations, nothing.

    I hope with all my heart that your IVF is successful and that you never look back.

    Life is good. Embrace it.