• 2 months ago

    lousy marriage

    I have a toxic relationship with husband. He's an emotional abuser and cheater. Has been for years and I am enabling. Tried to divorce in 2005 but he begged me not to and he would get therapy. It was guise to keep me from not divorcing. WE wrote each other. Can never communicate in person. I did tell him he could do his cheating within reason. I stayed with him while son finished high school but then figured I needed to for insurance reasons. we quit having sex and just hugged and kissed until recently. I feel I don't want to continue like this and want a legal separation. This is and has caused stress in my life and rest of family. My daughter and grand kids live with us. Husband is doing divorce for daughter. Now daughter says I must wait until after her divorce is finalized or will make hard on me.

Responses

  • 2 months ago

    RE: lousy marriage

    you and your daughter looking forward divorce. why did you waited so long since you wanted divorce? he is an abuser you should not stay with him for you own good. The environment is not safe for you if he is like that. you should have taken the decision long ago. Still you have time for divorce. do it before it is too late. - Good Luck
  • 2 months ago

    RE: lousy marriage

    Before youi go any further, please consult a layer as to your rights (retirement fund, spousal support, etc.). You need to know exactly what to expect from your divorce. I assume you no longer have school age children?

    Your divorce is between you and your husband and youir daughter has no say in it. She'll make it hard for you? In what way? Could it be harder than what you're already dealing with? If you have decided to divorce then do it. How much longer are you prepared to put everyone else before yourself? From what you say, you've been more than accommodating to everyone so it's now time for YOU.

    You deserve so much better than what you're getting so go for it!
      • 1 month ago
        Maybe learn English, responder??

        " youi go any further, please consult a layer . . . "
      • 1 month ago
        Typos, my dear. I should have proof-read but didn't.
      • 1 month ago
        it just typo. take it easy
  • RE: lousy marriage

    I agree with fcl that you would be wise to consult a lawyer. You might also want to consult with a domestic violence agency (or a therapist) to help you separate yourself emotionally and physically from your husband. Finally, it is unclear why your daughter would want you to wait to divorce -- especially if she is aware of the abuse you have endured. As difficult as it can be, you may need to put your wishes and needs ahead of your daughter's preferences. But hopefully, if you talk with her about your decision, she will support you.
  • 1 month ago

    RE: lousy marriage

    How do you go about a divorce? When is the right time? I think about it a lot. But am afraid.
      • 1 month ago
        i have been thinking of it since 2018. But set up my mind later on. my situation is different he abused me and his family was involved. mine will not work at all. I have to have move on from him. we are already living like separate couple. i am doing all things by myself now. no help from him. already spoke with lawyer and i know it is very stressful. but this stress will go away once everything will be settle. i am not sure your case. i do not know about your relationship with your spouse. and how do you overcome all this situation? do you have kids and if you do how many. think about both of your yearly income and how much you have to pay each month for child support if you are a man. do you want full custody of your child or partial custody or your spouse will get the custody. many things involved. and your 401k or any saving or if your have house or any business all will be counted i think. once you have lawyer they will let you know. And if you really set your mind for divorce then you may need support from your family or support from your friend your love. divorce is not easy. it is stressful i have been think of it long ago because of my situation. i suffered a lot with him. our relationship is not working. and i know it will never work. i do not want to be part of this anymore. i set up my mind. today i also spoke with my lawyer. if you are afraid of it now you need to talk with your any friend you can trust or family member. but if you do not want to share then wait until you set up your mind. you may not ready for divorce yet. maybe your relationship is not broken like mine. the question is how do get divorce if your still have good relationship with your spouse. do you have any other love where you may discuss about it just asking. wishing you good luck.
      • 1 month ago
        Don't be afraid:

        I've done it 3 times and now have the best marriage on Earth . . .
      • 1 month ago
        WOW YOU MARRIED FOR THREE TIMES.. IF I MARRY AGAIN NO MORE DIVORCE.. LIFE IS SHORT SO DO NOT WANT 4 OR 5 TIMES MARRIAGE.
  • 1 month ago

    RE: lousy marriage

    My mouth is full of testimonies, my husband left home for two years to south Africa for a tourist, where he meant this prostitute and he was bewitch by the girl my husband refuse to come back home again, i cry day and night looking for who to help me, i read a news paper about a powerful spell caster and i contacted the spell caster to help me get my lover back to me and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods we fight for me.. he told me by mid-night when all the spirit is at rest he will cast a spell to reunite my lover back to me. and he did in less than 2 days my husband came back to me and started crying that i should for forgive him, i,m so happy for what this spell caster did for me and my husband.
      • 1 month ago
        Yuck, you want him back where as he slept with prostitutes. he may have Disease. No one knows
      • 1 month ago
        Yeah, but she's not the sharpest knife in the drawer. A girl bewitched her husband? Of course, hubby was not to blame. And she believed that a spell caster brought him back. I swear, there's one born every minute.
      • 1 month ago
        why don't he make his own Knife a lot sharp rather than go after those used sharp knife by a lot of others. YUCK.. and he was bewitched by those used Knife from the others drawer where as he has his own good knife in his drawer... :/
      • 1 month ago
        Yeah... sharp your Knife who really love you and waiting for you back.. :/