• 25 days ago

    Husband never wants sex

    My husband wants to sleep and is never sexual. He is overweight and just feels fatigued. I have tried to get him to be active and help his energy level, but he would rather watch tv. Please help!!

Responses

  • 25 days ago

    RE: Husband never wants sex

    Hi Tell to get healthy and sexual or you away from him, tell him its his choice, not really much else you can do.

    Some how I don't think counseling will be of help, as from what you saying he will be to tired to go.

    NOWHARD
      • 24 days ago
        Thank you for your time and response. Not sure what the future will hold
      • 9 days ago
        I think your find the right guy who wants you in more ways than one, so you wont be alone for long, there lots of use older guys who want a woman who wants what they have to offer when ever you want, bit like me but my wife gets all I have to offer whenever I want it, no waiting and we are both now in our 70's.

        NOWHARD

        Try pegym.com there is a women's forum so you wont be alone, but there are men and lots of us, so you could find one who is near you, and your a nurse so your fit in.
  • 24 days ago

    RE: Husband never wants sex

    I'd suggest a full medical checkup. He may have an underlying condition that he doesn't know about (diabetes?) and please make sure he's screened for depression (and treated for it if necessary). Once you know what you're dealing with you can start to move forward.
      • 23 days ago
        You're welcome :)

        You know yourself that many people who suffer from depression either don't know it or are in denial ... I hope you find a solution to getting him out of his rut.

        Wishing you well,

        FCL
      • 22 days ago
        Thank you for being such a gentleman in your responses! I agree with you, that many depressed individuals either don't recognize their symptoms or deny them. I believe he is depressed and he now has an anger about him that was never present years back. He is verbally and physically aggressive at times and I feel it is due to his depressed state. I went for a 5 mile walk tonight, as he sat in front of the TV, with a beer. Another night sleeping alone, but I know life is much worse for so many others. Thanks again!
      • Clearly he is not well. And, you are sharing that your marriage is not well. Given that you are not happy in the marriage, maybe he would agree to go to couples therapy with you. Then the therapist might be able to assess what's going on and try to help.

        Ultimately, though, he needs to agree to get help for him to benefit from help and to change. If he will not do this, then it leaves you continuing in a very unfortunate situation. You'll need to decide how you want to respond -- e.g. continue as is, leave the relationship (or at least separate for a time), get therapy for yourself to help you decide what to do.
      • 9 days ago
        Thank you for your information. We have tried counseling that I scheduled and he fails or be truthful about our problems when with the counselor, so difficult to create a solution. Thanks again for your response!
  • 9 days ago

    RE: Husband never wants sex

    With respect, could it be that you set a precedence at one time whereby he had to wait for you to be receptive? And if so, perhaps he gave up waiting and shut down - like so many men these days as the "chase" has become too tedious or complicated? Men are tired waiting for the "right moment" and many have given up. So many women are confused when they discover their partner has cheated as they often claim that there was a "perfectly good woman at home". Maybe so but the trick is to find a willing one.
      • 9 days ago
        Thank you for your response. I have always been receptive and have always been the one wanting to try something new. Something new to get to know each other's body completely to provide the highest satisfaction to each other. If he needs me at 3 am or anytime.... he is told to wake me. And it should be the same for myself. Of course I care more about his well being and would only want him to sleep if he was not feeling well or was tired. I agree how sometimes it is a chase for some couples, but I have never questioned the time he has needed me. Even 8 months pregnant and not the most comfortable, I was receptive. I certainly agree with your post and I think it goes both ways in any relationship.
      • 7 days ago
        Gee I suggest your one in thousand to be so caring
      • 5 days ago
        Thank you :)
      • 2 days ago
        I am a 63 year-old former married man. My ex-wife lost interest in every aspect of our marriage. Following 7 years of not sleeping together, I ended up making a terrible choice for which I own. I stepped out the marriage. Looking back, I wish I had just left the marriage in an honorable way. Many regrets and I died a thousand deaths over this stupid choice of mine. I now have regained my self-esteem and hope to find someone I can finish out this life with. I would never cheat again. It is the worse thing you can do for yourself and to others. Lesson learned.
      • 2 days ago
        HI anonymous, thank you for sharing your experience. He has cheated on me 3 times in the past... that I am aware of and I am unsure what he is currently doing. He even lost a job due to an affair with a coworker. I am a strong woman and stayed ONLY for my children. He has tried to put the right foot forward and has tried to show me he is committed to our marriage now. This is difficult to believe with his affairs, but I have tried to understand that people make mistakes. If our marriage is going to work we need closeness... mentally and physically. If he is wanting someone else, it is time to move on in my life as my kids are getting older. Youngest is 12. I am a strong person and could have easily cheated on him through the years, but I devoted myself to being the best mother and example for my kids. I have turned heads when I go out with friends and have been approached by other men, but I have pride in who I am and would never take that step. Everyone makes mistakes in life, but if it continues than it is more of a choice. I just feel that sex is important in a strong relationship. And if sex is not physically possible, then the closeness. I believe that if my husband could not physically have sex, but at least laid with me.... kissing and touch means something. The intimacy and comfort with each other is important. Maybe he is not happy with me and wants someone else.... then it is time for him to be honest and we will both move on.
  • 7 days ago

    RE: Husband never wants sex

    My wife never wants Sex either and this has been now for 18 months no hint discussion nothing . One must wonder if its deeper thing or what but its not a natural none event I feel in loving relationship as it all starts to break down. I like you are unsure as to what to do?. Yet she agrees non sexual relationship is not normal perhaps he needs to be asked the question as well? And perhaps we and others don't want to know the reason why?. Just thoughts.
      • 7 days ago
        Hi Layer I do think a lot of us would love to know what goes on in either a male or female to suddenly stop, and say that's it no more sex.

        Have read that women suddenly stop, they just flick a switch and that's it no more sex, I did work with a guy who's wife after there second child did just the same, and she was young.

        But cant understand why a guy just stops and says no more as its not ED, as she says she thinks its because of another?

        NOWHARD
      • 7 days ago
        Thank you for your response and I am sorry your wife has pulled away sexually too. I know some hate to know the reason... maybe cheating. I have always been a woman who only wants honesty. If he is cheating, he can have the relationship. There are many good men out there and I am a beautiful woman, so I have no concern of finding someone. I am too young to not have a sexual relationship and honesty. He is overweight and seems to have no energy for most things. I would like to be in a relationship that allows time to make love and lay in each other's arms to discuss our day... every night. This is what builds a relationship.
      • 6 days ago
        Hi Alone, With the right guy there is no reason why your sex life should not go into your 80's, we are now in our 70's and its still going perhaps not as strong as it once was, but at least once a week, we as a couple cant understand why men and women just stop, as its so important to us and our body's to keep that part of our relationship going.

        NOWHARD
      • 6 days ago
        That's all I want but its not that simple. For many there is far reaching circumstances and loyalty call me old fashion?.
  • 6 days ago

    RE: Husband never wants sex

    It is a tough situation...to be feeling so alone and needy of affection...have you tried to approach him more sexually?
    we males are rather...stupid to signals, and we need a direct line to tell us, try to have a drink with him, get into his comfort zone
      • 5 days ago
        Thank you for your advice. I have approached him in a flirty manner with lingerie on. He tells me I am beautiful and we can have closeness, but it never lasts. I feel if he became for active and healthy, he would maybe be more sexual. Even at the end of a long work day and running around with children activities, I still have energy for closeness. We have went out for a drink and he ends up drinking too much, which doesn't help sexual either.
      • 5 days ago
        Well luv you do sound like a beautiful soul, and im sure a beautiful gal aswell, and true, too much alchohol is a party pooper, have you tried to stimulate any fantasy of his..? wish I could help more luv
      • 5 days ago
        Hi Alone For a good sex life we need to be healthy and men need good clean blood to get good erections, being a couch potato is not the way to and bet he is a fast food eater, if so these two things until he drops then along with his weight, he is never going to be the lover he once was.

        What does he do for work or are you the bread winner now? if he is living off you' time to take that walk and go find a new stud, perhaps you doing that will be his wake up call he so needs.

        NOWHARD
      • 4 days ago
        Grinning cat, Thank you so much for your sincere words. I have asked him many times to tell me what he would find intriguing and hot to improve our relationship. He gives me nothing. He tells me he is happy and satisfied with our sex life, but I just can't agree. After years in a marriage, the right couple can still have a strong desire for one another. It takes work to have a great marriage and that includes every aspect of the marriage.
      • 4 days ago
        Nowhard, thank you for your response. He is a couch sitter and yes, he eats a poor nutritional diet. Fast food... high sodium, fat, and cholesterol. No salads,veggies, fruits, whole grains or lean meats. He often times tells me he can't have sex, because his stomach doesn't feel well. I respect this, but I try to help with a solution. ... healthy foods and NO pop/soda. He doesn't follow through with it and it continues to be a cycle. He doesn't exercise and seems tired all the time. I want to help him feel better and become more active, but I just can't seem to get through to him. Most nights I go to bed craving the touch of a man. I shouldn't have to long for a man's strength next to me when I am married.
      • 4 days ago
        Hi Alone so does he work? or like I asked before are you the bread winner? if so then yes he is in need of a wake up call to get him going, I hope, for him it would be a case of sink or swim, if you was to walk out on him, tough but I think needs to be done.

        Do you have somewhere you can go for a few months where you can keep an eye on him, I think it should be done for his own good, Like I said a wake up call.

        NOWHARD
      • 4 days ago
        Jeeze...reading those last words hurt me luv, there must be a way...tried therapy, perhaps..??
      • 4 days ago
        Its a long read but your see she has tried, its just him, he has become very lazy and unloving, that's why I say he does need the jolt to shake his senses up.

        NOWHARD
      • 3 days ago
        Hi Alone, OK see if you get hubby to read through this link.

        www.webmd.com/.../slideshow-missing-nutrients

        Its like all the foods he should be eating to get a bit of zing back into his life.

        And Alone this should help you as well as this below is what has put a zing back into my penis when I got ED, its to get his blood zinging round his body, its my post on NOWHARDS MIX, get him to do the 12 week trail, it will get him moving you can trust me there.

        https://www.pegym.com/forums/exercise-health-forum/113808-nowhards-mix.html

        NOWHARD
      • 2 days ago
        Thank you!
  • 2 days ago

    RE: Husband never wants sex

    My wife is the same way.
      • 2 days ago
        Sorry you have the same concern. I know life is busy for many couples. But if the time isn't taken to have closeness, the gap between each other only widens. I just want more than sleeping in bed alone without any type of contact or pleasure
      • 2 days ago
        what do you when isn't want sex?
  • 2 days ago

    RE: Husband never wants sex

    Not enough information. How old is husband and wife? My experience. Sex is overrated. Wife seems to lose her sex appeal after a few years of marriage. She doesn’t dress in sexy clothes, sexy lingerie and heels . Also, she’s not too experienced in the sex department.
      • 2 days ago
        Hi Paul, so just how many wives have you had them to come with your answer.

        NOWHARD
  • 2 days ago

    RE: Husband never wants sex

    My husband has a very bad back and I have an autoimmune disorder so we are both on the unwell list, we have the same problem. My husband would drive me crazy when we were young. He was insatiable. About 7 yrs ago he literally stopped all contact. We still sleep in the same bed, but there is nothing, not even touch. I am luck at my age of 58 that I still have my loving 17yr son who is the only comfort I get, with hugs. I think to myself is this the way the rest of my life is going to be? I have no family and very few friends. We’ve been married 31yrs, he is my whole world.
      • 2 days ago
        Hi Unless his back has given he ED as they say there is always a way of having sex even if it means you riding him, so in this last 7 years have you not spoken with him why he has just stopped wanting your body anymore.

        Tell him your gagging for it, tell you want him inside you and soon, be blunt but in a nice way, its the one thing us men like most? well in our house it is and we are now both in our 70's.

        Try leaping on him sexually that is and see if that get him going.

        If that does not work, again find out what is wrong with him.

        NOWHARD
  • 2 days ago

    RE: Husband never wants sex

    how about wife don't wish to have sex with they husband, who as a health problem.
      • 2 days ago
        Ken really need more info age and why, as there is always a reason.

        NOWHARD
  • 1 day ago

    RE: Husband never wants sex

    Hi Alone3, My husband had a nervous breakdown 10 years ago. He ED so we haven't had sex since then. He feels inadequate. I've tried everything to get him aroused and nothing works. He just doesn't want to have sex. We are now, for 4 months now in separate beds. We just celebrated our 40th anniversary. I thought about divorce, but I found out from my Pastor that to divorce for this is not biblical, so I pray about it. I feel your pain.
      • 1 day ago
        HI pedimpact, I am so sorry your husband has experienced these things that have affected you both so much. It is hurtful and lonely to fall asleep in separate beds. I have no doubt it is painful for you and I hope your praying finds you some comfort. I am 45 and my husband is 48. I sleep alone in our bed and he spends every night on the couch due to his restless legs and back. I have tried to get him to see a doctor for medication to help with the restless leg syndrome, but he fails to go. Feeling alone is difficult and it wears on a marriage. I certainly understand when a spouse is unable to have sex due to a physical condition, but closeness is still a need. My husband stepped out on me everytime I have truly needed him... during my pregnancy, my dads death and when I was physically ill. I have not treated him the same way, but have tried to get him to change his lifestyle to be healthier. I hope things improve for you over time. I miss the touch and passion with a man and just feel lost.
      • 1 day ago
        Hi Pedi look having fought ED and won get him what I now call NOWHARDS MIX the link is below its easy to make and most of what you could be in your kitchen right now, and its all very healthy and not a drug in sight, your also see what Supplements I take, and packed with other info, tell him can be that man again if he really wants to.

        The link.

        https://www.pegym.com/forums/exercise-health-forum/113808-nowhards-mix.html

        NOWHARD
      • 1 day ago
        Hi Alone get your hubby to try drinking some good tonic water at night, it works for me when I get it.

        But get him out walking good brisk walking that is, its so good for our legs, heart, colon and blood circulation.

        NOWHARD