• over 2 years ago

    Wife fantasizes about other men during sex

    Ladies...is it normal to fantasize of other men during sex with your husband?
    We have been married since college (30 years). About 15 years ago my wife had a 3-4 month affair. Unwisely, I wanted to know all the details of their encounters and she shared with me that the sex and her orgasms were great. I have noticed that she has not had an orgasm with me during intercourse since her affair. However, if I wear a strap on or penis extender she always orgasms during intercourse. I believe by adding these enhancements she feels she is having sex with another guy. which allows her to orgasm.
    Thoughts?

Responses

  • over 2 years ago

    RE: Wife fantasizes about other men during sex

    Stop blaming yourself. I know you already see yourself as the problem, and you're not. If you're concerned about her orgasms, maybe try manually or orally stimulating her. Very few women are able to orgasm via penetration alone. She could not be orgasming because perhaps, the extender or strap allows you to have sex for longer....normally men have trouble lasting for a long time --there are things you can do to minimize that but it's definitely a tough thing to overcome. I'm so sorry that your wife violated the trust of the marriage by going outside of that. I hope you recognize that regardless of any sexual issues that you both might be having/have had, that's not an excuse for her to do what she did, and she's very lucky that you decided to forgive her and move on with her again.
  • over 2 years ago

    RE: Wife fantasizes about other men during sex

    Hi Its very difficult on here to try and put you in her mind.

    How's your foreplay are you getting her really wet and either had an orgasm or on the brink before intercouse, as we don't know how your pre-sex is as foreplay for some women is a big thing, get that right and your away to happier times in bed and your performance with her.

    Try this site for help www.dodsonandross.com its packed with info, mostly in the way of letters to Dr betty Dodson and her very straight answers.

    Also try this book your find it great as a bedside book Love Play by Dr David Delvin your find it on Amazon and cheap, it goes through her body and yours chapter by chapter, I have one.

    As for your penis size try www.pegym.com on here you can find out how to last longer and increase the size of your penis, doing this is not quick and it will take time, but as they say every little helps in both length and girth, I don't know what age you are but we are all ages on there me I'm getting near 70 and yes still growing, go on the site and look round all very interesting. OK

    NOWHARD
  • over 2 years ago

    RE: Wife fantasizes about other men during sex

    SO WHAT IF SHE IS U FANTASIZE ABOUT OTHER WOMEN RIGHT!
  • RE: Wife fantasizes about other men during sex

    It sounds like you may still have some unresolved issues from the affair -- and that these may be interfering with your relationship, or at least your love life. In addition, you are guessing at what is going on for her. Based on both of these things, you may find it helpful to talk more with her about your thoughts, feelings, questions, and concerns. Good communication can go a long way toward helping you connect better emotionally and improving your sex life. If you and your wife don't do well talking about serious and difficult topics, you may find couple therapy or sex therapy helpful.
  • over 2 years ago

    RE: Wife fantasizes about other men during sex

    Yes, it's fairly normal to fantasize about other people during sex. Not everybody does it but it isn't a sign that something is wrong.

    Now, the fact that she orgasms when you wear a strap-on or an extender could very well be an indication that it's time to spice things up! So start looking for ideas and ask her what (not who!) she fantasizes about doing and would like to explore. Do you sext with her? Role-play? Build scenarios with her? Are you spontaneous? Do you try to seduce her or do you "just have sex"?

    There's a whole lot of fun out there just waiting to be had ...