• 2 months ago

    I Need to Leave Him

    I know I need to get out of this relationship and get on with my life. Saying it is 1 thing but doing it is another.

    Here's some background ... we met 3 yrs ago at a party. Yeah we hooked up that first night. Just kinda went from there. Things were never great ... just convenient. Time went by. Had a pregnancy scare about a year ago. I wonder if we are even in love. Probably not. Not sure if I really know what love is.

    Fast forward and we're still living together but it's not fun or even happy. We're down to 1 car and I don't know how to live on my own or how to even tell him.

    Would like to hear from others. I feel so alone.

Responses

  • 2 months ago

    RE: I Need to Leave Him

    I believe that if you're not happy with the current situation then u should call it a quit. Its not healthy to be on a unhappy relationship.
  • RE: I Need to Leave Him

    I'm sorry that you are in such a tough spot. It sounds like there is a lot for you to sort through.

    You say that you don't know how to live on your own. Have you ever lived on your own? If you have, it might help to reflect on that time, reminding yourself that you can do it -- and have done it.

    When you say that you don't know how to tell him, I'm not sure what you mean. What keeps you from just telling him your thoughts and feelings; and then leaving?

    Also, you might find the following articles helpful:

    Understanding the Pain of Saying Good-Bye
    http://blogs.webmd.com/art-of-relationships/2012/08/understanding-the-pain-of-saying-good-bye.html

    How to Break Up Like a Grown-Up
    http://blogs.webmd.com/art-of-relationships/2016/03/how-to-breakup-like-a-grown-up.html

    Are You 'In Love'? How to Know
    http://blogs.webmd.com/art-of-relationships/2016/10/are-you-in-love-how-to-know.html

    Please feel free to share more so we can help more; and let us know how things go.
  • 2 months ago

    RE: I Need to Leave Him

    Hi Let your brain do the work for you if your brain says its time to say good by follow your brain, you followed your heart and see what has happened, if its your car grab it and your stuff and go.

    Living by your self works but your just cooking for one and its up to you when you clean, take a tip do it weekly and same with your washing, and you find cooking is fun and so easy.

    Don't worry your life will soon come together and better than before, but keep to your brain and not what your heart says.

    NOWHARD
  • 2 months ago

    RE: I Need to Leave Him

    Love has its ups and downs but fellings in a upseting relationship can and will destroy you look inside lass and if the outside is not felling with the inside it is time to walk away because if you do not then you will explode you can and will make it been there and survived But you must take the first step listen to you heart and it will leed you to saftey.
  • 2 months ago

    RE: I Need to Leave Him

    Can't live on your own, or don't want to? You CAN; it ain't rocket science. Worry not about being alone. If you have any real friends, you won't be alone. Even if you don't have real friends, take off with the Northeast wind and do yourself a favor. You will make friends if you want to. Being happy attracts people. Go. Time heals all wounds, and in short order you'll wonder why it took you so long to go. You'll also being doing him a favor, as I am sure he is not that happy either. Good luck.
  • 2 months ago

    RE: I Need to Leave Him

    Follow your heart. It won't lie to you. Do what's right for you.

    It may seem like there's no way out, but have faith. You're stronger than you think you are.
      • 2 months ago
        I need to leave him get out of that relationship as soon as possible get on with your own life life is too short to waste there's someone for everyone and love could be passing you right by because you're attached to baggage and somebody to help pay the rent it's not worth it you're just afraid of the unknown have more faith in yourself and don't be afraid to try
  • RE: I Need to Leave Him

    I think if you go back and re-read what you posted, you would find your answer. Trust me, I've done the same thing before. If you have to talk yourself into staying with him the it's not the right relationship. If you are questioning whether or not he's in love with you, or you him - it's not the right relationship.
    There's a point in a relationship where you begin to feel comfortable and this comfort can be a wonderful, beautiful thing the two of you share -- or it can just be a comfort of convenience. Neither of you are really happy, but you're too "comfortable" in the situation to end it. You've established routine and a sense of false need for one another's presence.

    Living on your own is not hard once you learn how to do it. In fact, it can be quite liberating. You have to be comfortable with yourself, and learn to enjoy who you are and not what you need to be for someone else.

    I spent years in a relationship that, toward the end, felt more like a roommate situation than a love relationship. Although I didn't "hate" him or even dislike him, I wasn't happy and I knew I wasn't in love with him. I loved him... but I wasn't "in" love (yes, there is a huge difference!) Every day I felt that nagging need to just be ME. I began to envision my own space, how I would decorate it, how I would be able to go places and do things without having to answer to anyone or feel guilty for not being home for someone else. At first it seemed really selfish, but I realized that I was being more selfish by staying and pretending.

    Soul search. Find yourself - love yourself. BELIEVE in yourself. Once you do that, everything will come so much easier. Oh ... and you WILL find love with the right person. Trust.
  • 1 month ago

    RE: I Need to Leave Him

    I left my ex after 17 years with him. The best part was the fact that I learned about me and how to entertain myself. I met new friends, took courses, started sewing, and realized I don't need a man to keep me amused. I still want one every once in a while, but I really don't need one to complete me, and I have a few male friends but they know I am not interested in anything more than friendsip. Men can be controlling and it's not something I need in my life. They're nice to play with, but they're too messy for me. I have learned a lot about myself and I like/love who I've become. That's what's important. Just my thoughts.... Never Give Up!
  • 1 month ago

    RE: I Need to Leave Him

    As a life coach, there are a number of things that you can do to improve your happiness and work through your feelings. Life coaching can also help you strategize your next steps once we figure out where you want to go. It may feel like it, but you’re never alone and there is always someone out there who can help and provide support.
  • 1 month ago

    RE: I Need to Leave Him

    I can somewhat relate in your post about a convenient relationship and feeling alone. It seems as if you had made a decision to wanting to leave so by me asking any other questions would be irrelevant. Starting all over isn't easy but neither difficultly impossible. There are resources out here to help women get on their feet. Get the tools regardless of any mind changes. Good luck to you. And remember we are really never alone....
  • 1 month ago

    RE: I Need to Leave Him

    I have been through many break ups and have left with just my car and suitcase and never looked back, no regrets. I am helping a person who was forced out (with nowhere to go and very few friends willing to help) and they are living on their own for over a year now and they are doing very well. It is all about making the move, making your mind up not to keep the memories and really start all over again on your own. It is easier than you think even though scary at the thought of it.

    A loveless relationship goes nowhere and if you had one pregnant scare I am sure there will be more if you are not wanting children with this person. So be brave and just make the move and all I can hope you have some good friends or family to help you.

    I wish you all the best and hope it all works out well for you.