• 2 months ago

    Affair

    My husband had an affair with someone who was 8 years younger then me while I was pregnant with our last child should be a awesome memory but it's a constant reminder of what he done
    He broke it off i forgave him but how do I get over the questions WHY when I know I was a good wife I did everything for him
    I ask him why he tell me it was the alcohol (doesn't drink no more ) but still want to know why

Responses

  • RE: Affair

    What you are going through is truly difficult. To truly forgive and move forward in a healthy relationship after affairs, couples often need to do a lot of talking and working through issues. When they try to just move forward without doing this, all of the questions and concerns and insecurities often undermine the relationship. Also, while they might be able to do it alone, couples therapy is often helpful. Feelings are very strong and a third, "objective" party can often help navigate things better.
      • 2 months ago
        Leslie, come on. Why are you even mentioning forgiving that guy and "move "forward" when you know he's going to do it again. If a man is capable of cheating on his pregnant wife, you know there is no "healing" in this relationship.
      • 2 months ago
        I think you are being a bit prejudicial here, Anon, and Leslie has it. Remember that we are not machines and can not, therefor, be pigeon-holed and stereotyped too rigidly. Yes, the probabilities are against the guy, but his sincerity could be honest. That is where the trained third-wheel can help sort things out (and then we hope the third-wheel is right....)
  • 2 months ago

    RE: Affair

    He's blaming on the alcohol. The truth is he cheated on you becaus he WANTED to. But the reasons he wanted to, have nothing to do with you or reflect your worth in any way. Please recognize that if he is able to cheat on the woman who is pregnant with his child, that is lack of morality, values and conscience....and he does not deserve you. He had no care for the pain he was causing not only his wife...but his unborn child. He needs help...not you. You do not need to know why he cheated because the answer lies in his own messed up brain, heart and soul. You did nothing to deserve or CAUSE a man to cheat on his pregnant wife. THAT was his lack of restraint because something inside of him is WEAK. Please stop blaming yourself.
  • 2 months ago

    RE: Affair

    What was the cause, first it was alcohol, and second follow by the big head being lead by the little head, if you really think about that's it.

    But in the end its cheating, ie infidelity the action of being unfaithful to your sexual partner or in this case his wife.

    If she forgave him then that should really be the end of it, but me thinks she's having second thoughts about the whole thing.

    I think if she is thinking like that, could mean a divorce in the air, as all her trust has gone.

    NOWHARD
  • 2 months ago

    RE: Affair

    Very tough issue, lady, and I wish you the best on dealing with it. IF you feel the relationship is worth saving, then, as Leslie mentioned, get a third wheel into the mix; see a counselor and get him to lay it all on the line. He needs to go through the torture of confessing everything. It is very difficult to trust someone after this type of "deep lying", so go slowly and watch your back. You very likely will not be able to really read him, because you want to keep things as they were. That is one of the big reasons, in my opinion, you need to get someone else involved. They can see things more clearly. Best to you.
      • 1 month ago
        This is the best reply! Strangers online cannot help this situation, but a mental health professional (Psychologist) with an education and experience with these situations can! STOP reading online opinions and get into counseling!
  • 2 months ago

    RE: Affair

    Why all the fuss about Hubby getting some extra Nookey while you are PG. Everyone, well, almost everyone, does it, both Wifey and Hubby!!! Yummy!!
      • 2 months ago
        I do hope you are kidding. If not, you have a different circle of "everyone" than I do.
      • 2 months ago
        What is the big deal? Well over half of Black Americab Babies are from single Mothers and other races approach that!
        When I was in the USAF I worked for several months in the clinical lab of the OB/GYN clinic. We did Rh and Blood Types on all the OB patients, and also on the husband, if the patient was Rh neg. That helped us to be ready for an "exchange" transfusion for the baby, if necessary. ( That was in the "old days" before a much better treatment was developed).
        Type and Rh testing cannot prove that Hubby IS the Father, but It can often prove that, if true, Hubby IS
        NOT the father. (More advanced tests are available now that are much more specific).
        I was amazed at the percentage of Husbands who were excluded as the Father, and yes, we repeated the tests to detect errors in testing.
        Of course, we did not share that information with the Family. Let Sleeping Dogs lay!!
        Dr. Jim.
      • 2 months ago
        The "big deal" is called morality, doc. Who GAFRA if it is not prevalent anymore, in your experience.
      • 2 months ago
        So just because a lot of people do something, we should be OK with it? A lot of jews were killed in the holocaust...should we have not objected and said "What's the big deal?" Just because a lot of people do something doesn't mean it's right and should be tolerated by others, "Dr. Jim." I question where you got your "medical degree." Probably Google.
      • 2 months ago
        Ask any teenager: "But Mom! EVERYBODY is doing it!" Right. Some people take the hippocratic oath, others the hypocritical oath.
      • 12 days ago
        Really??? What planet are you from?
  • 1 month ago

    RE: Affair

    Asking 'why' leads to more why's. Why did you cheat? He says, because I was lonely. You ask, why were you lonely? He says, I don't know why and the why's continue. Does this make since, don't ask me why lol. I feel really bad for you because when a spouse cheats, the other spouse will never forget for the remainder of their lifetime, and the cheater will never forget the person they cheated with. There will always be three in their bed. Most important, try not to let this painful memory destroy you. I wish you the best.