• 2 months ago

    Wife was a Loose Young Woman

    I found out shortly after my wife and I got married, that when we were young and single, that she had slept with almost all of my friends at that time except for me. I even asked her out on a date back then, but she turned me down, saying she would rather have sex with a guy I was with at the time.
    We did not re-connect for almost 40 years later, and we got married, then she informed me of all my friends she slept with.
    I am having a tough time dealing with this. It would be tough to deal with just knowing she slept with so many different guys, but I counted at least 22 friends she has said she bedded. How many more that I was not friends with? A few of these friends are close friends of mine, but I can no longer fave them. I can't stop imagining them having sex with her, laying there with her in their arms afterwards, sweet talking and going at it again. I have dreams about it. It's driving me insane. Our marriage and sex life is suffering. I do love her. Terribly! I have for almost 40 years, but she wanted nothing to do with me back then, so why now?
    How do I get past this? How do I look my old friends in the eye again?
    If they weren't friends, it would be a little easier, but still in the back of my mind, but feel I could deal with it better.
    My biggest issue is why not then, but now she wants me? Does that make any sense? I feel hurt, and not sure I really should be.
    Any help would be appreciated. Thank You!

Responses

  • 2 months ago

    RE: Wife was a Loose Young Woman

    If you aren't into promisucous women, why would you date her? Are there no other options more suited for you? I'm not saying there's anything wrong with promiscuous women, but if that's not something youre OK with, why would you date her in the first place?
  • 2 months ago

    RE: Wife was a Loose Young Woman

    Why would she tell you all this? if this is going to get to like it is now, then sorry its time you moved out and away from where you are now.

    Time to restart your life somewhere else, where you are not known, but then these are my thoughts, but if that had been done to me, that's what I would do, it would clear out your mind of all these bad thoughts your getting now.

    Time to restart your life and get clear of this women she is evil in the way she has treated you.

    NOWHARD
  • 2 months ago

    RE: Wife was a Loose Young Woman

    Maybe your current wife had issues when she was small - its not normal for a woman to sleep around unless she is suffering from self worth/inner hate issues which she acted out by seeking affection from different men - don't think about the fact that she chose you now - there is a reason for everything - don't define her by her past we all have skeletons in the closet - I am talking about personal experience - when a woman/young lady has sexual issues like if maybe she was molested when she was small or a parental figure had a dis-functional and promiscuous life the daughter will most likely do the same thing - have you tried asking her why she slept with all those men? Have you asked her how she felt about it now - have you tried to get couples counseling? Do you really love her with her strengths and weaknesses - ask yourself if it was your daughter or sister in that situation with a past like that - wouldn't you want their partner to have compassion and love them unconditionally? don't be a stereotype man who judges women like society does - I know she didn't just sleep around but she slept with your friends - its hard and embarrassing for a man but maybe she had issues - I had issues - deep issues - a terrible childhood full of neglect, physical abuse -rejection and sexual assault - I grew up feeling wrong all my life - I did not feel right unless I felt wrong - I engaged in self destructive behavior that only my psychologist knew about it but through therapy I learnt to accept that it was not my fault - I only abuse and abuse was what I had grown accustomed to -a woman who sleeps around is self-abusing themselves -because she feels unworthy and we all want to be loved but If the image of love was tainted from early childhood your years later are full of self-destruction - please forgive her I think now she sees your worth - you are the nice guy - the knight and shining armour whom she never knew existed - she sought comfort in the wrong men and in the wrong ways - if you really love her try and fix this and be honest to yourself and her - its a scary process this healing thing but of you have healing to go through - you don't have to take my advice but I have found a man whom I can share my inner most secrets with and he supports me 100% and does not judge my past nor how my past has affected me - he truly loves me and I love him for that he is my soul mate and I don't judge myself when i'm with him - we even joke about some boyfriends in our past lives - we have made peace - its a process and this too shall come to pass but you have to be willing to deal with it - what do you want to do? DO you want her or don't you? and why do you want her? ask yourself that question - were it not for those men she slept with would you see other good qualities in her? Everyone has past issues and we all deal with them in different way. I'm not a man so I don't understand how you feel when you engage sexually with her but cant you see that maybe you might be ruining something good - in the present? unlike living in the past?