• over 2 years ago

    Sex problems

    I have been in a relationship with a man for 8 years, we are both over 50, he has no interest in sex at all, we live together now, it has been nearly 2 years since our last sex, I am always the one to instigate it, and I get a lot of refusals, what's the deal ?

Responses

  • RE: Sex problems

    The only one who can answer that definitively is your partner. Have you asked him? This can be a difficult conversation to have, so it can be important to be gentle and persistent while also picking calm times when he's more likely to talk.
      • over 2 years ago
        Thanks for replying, I have been given multipltle reason, can't be bother, we don't need to do that at our age, belly ache, headache, too tired, what's the point, the list goes on, he once said I'm not sexually attractive, don't do anything for him, I think I may have just answered my own question.
  • over 2 years ago

    RE: Sex problems

    It sounds like depression to me. Giving him a nice shoulder rub will hopefully do wonders for getting him mentally and physically ready for sex. Good luck.
      • over 2 years ago
        Thanks for the suggestion, I had thought of depression, but I have depression and anxiety, it dusnt affect my libido, but I suppose it affects people different ways, I have tried all sorts of body rubs, especially when he is asleep to get him at his most relaxed, and to catch him off guard and without pressure, even if he gets an erection, he just rolls over and continues to sleep, I think a lot of his problem is performance anxiety, I have no idea how to overcome this, have tried Viagra, to no avail.
      • over 2 years ago
        Hmm, the "what's the point?" answer caused me to think of depression. The part about that "he doesn't find you attractive" makes me think that he is angry with you for something. That may take some digging. I'm sure that that must hurt your feelings. My roomy told me that since she went through menopause that he had no libido. That too was a rejection of me. Have you thought about going on an adult website such as adultfriendfinder.com, and meeting a man for a purely sexual hookup (if that's what you want)? That's what I did, and it helped my feeling of self-confidence greatly. Of course my roomie was upset at that, but I spelled it out for her: "You don't want sex with me (or anyone else), so I looked for it elsewhere". Hopefully these thought help.
      • over 2 years ago
        Yes I have thought of having purely sexual flings, and have had quite a few, certainly does make you feel better about yourself, and relieves a lot of stress, just thought it would be nice to have sex with the man I'm in love with, and live with, he would be angry if he found out and would leave, but what is a woman to do ?
      • over 2 years ago
        You did exactly what you needed to do, just as I did what I needed to do. For what it's worth, I have had problems keeping an erection - that's part of life for us older men, and it is very frustrating. You would think that he would have shared that anxiety with you, the woman he loves (at least I think he loves you), and it's a shame that he didn't. All I can say is keep having flings to take the edge off, and keep your self-esteem up, and I will do the same. Hang in there and take care.
      • If you have not tried telling him how it makes you feel, you may find that helpful. He most likely won't spontaneously want sex, but he would hopefully have some empathy and really care about your experience. The follow up to that is to work on the problem together -- in part that means figuring out more fully the issue for him and what might need to happen to improve the situation. (I'm not convince that not finding you attractive is really the problem.) If he does not seem to care about your feelings, that speaks volumes about where you are as a couple and/or how deeply seated his issue might be. As I see it, you might then decide to live with the situation, continue to try to work on it even with his resistance (not an option I'd recommend), reconsider your relationship, or seek out professional help.
  • 5 months ago

    RE: Sex problems

    Hello, I have had sexual dysfunctions.I felt very much ashamed of myself in front of my husband. Didn't want live with this problem, I was afraid my husband would leave me. I found a viagra for ladies they helped me and now I am happy with my husband
  • 5 months ago

    RE: Sex problems

    Well, erectile dysfunction is a real thing. Is there still love in the relationship? You really need to hone into that spark before anything else. With men as they get older, it's not just about sex or "banging." And us, as women, we tend to get more familiar with the idea of a quickie as we get older. Cruel how the roles reverse, huh? How can you both build on the intimacy between you? Think about how you can build on the "closeness" between you. As two adults over 50, what's most important is your bond. Work on your bond first. Work on feeling close. Work on building intimacy. And by that point, I believe you will be so satisfied, that actual "penetration" will seem less important but I can only assume that will follow too. Just my 2 cents as someone who always believed sex is just sex... until I learned what intimacy was, and I could never go back to that idea. It makes SUCH a difference.
  • 4 months ago

    RE: Sex problems

    Hi Get to a doctor and get his testosterone checked out, when it gets low it dose all sorts of things to us men, I'm now fighting ED for the second time, as I'm now on testosterone shots, you get an improvement on the first one but it really needs 6 weeks to get to its peak, and yes its does work, he will be surprise just how horny he will fill as his libido goes up, by the way I'm now 72 had sex 4 times since Sunday, how would that suit you, my wife is loving it after have a bad 12 months of me losing erections, not being able to ejaculate and a mix of both and more, and now everything is working.

    Having sex is a very import part of a good marriage, and the more we do it the better, its never been just a once a month thing for us in 48 years of marriage we have had a very good sex life, even had sex in the sea here in Greece, that is a must do thing even if its only once.

    Tell him from me to get to it, and he is never to old, and never waste an erection.

    One last thing keep coconut oil in the bedroom, great stuff for a good sex life as you get lots of slip, gets hard in the winter but soon melts in the hand.

    NOWHARD
      • 15 days ago
        Hi Yes the shots was very good but the down fall was they gave me a pulmonary embolism, or as they say lucky you hearing from me, as only 1 in 3 survive having one but the game is not up yet as I'm read I' still up for grabs for up to a year, I a mixed life as one day is good and the rest are slow days when even small jobs you cant be bothered with, but now we have rain the slow things down and this sunny Greece, yes even Sunny Greece has its rain and slow days, which kind of makes it hard on getting things done.

        So testosterone shots give them a wide path.

        NOWHARD
  • 4 months ago

    RE: Sex problems

    Hi Is it your house, or his, what ever way he has bagged a women and that's it, I would say he just does not like sex and never really has, the sex you was having was just his bait, and now you stuck with him.

    So its either get a whole bagful of sex toys and pleasure yourself and do get him to watch you enjoying your self, or if its your house chuck him out and go find a stud, if its his house just pack up and leave, if he says why, just say you know why.
  • 4 months ago

    RE: Sex problems

    [deleted]
      • 4 months ago
        don't want H. like to see him okay. but do not want to be part of his life.
        it is just an advertise :)
      • 4 months ago
        Yes the two posts above yours are adverts complete rubbish there just after your money.

        NOWHARD
      • 4 months ago
        Hi So you would like to see him okay. but do not want to be part of his life.
        Pack up and go then there's lots of us older guys who need you for there lover and your get all you want weekly and no begging for it.

        NOWHARD
  • 3 months ago

    RE: Sex problems

    [deleted]
      • 3 months ago
        Hello, my name is Ray Hank and I want to say that Dr Mudi is a scam, I thought he would help me, but he just lied to me and took my money and hopes away.
  • 2 months ago

    RE: Sex problems

    I don't think there is a problem with you, the suspect here may be some health problems from his side. Many men tend to hide erectile dysfunctions, as it is a shame in the current society (although a very stupid one) to not be able to please your woman. Maybe the problem is psychological, did you tell him anything bad about his sex life, or maybe he has depression caused by some event. To learn the truth you should speak with him, this is the only way. A short-term solution is to buy some pills like viagra or cialis, so that his sex drive is bigger.
  • 1 month ago

    RE: Sex problems

    He could have some health problems, have you checked at a doctor? Many men tend to hide erectile dysfunctions, shaming men on the basis of their sexual life is not unusual these days , although I find it very stupid and childish. I think the problem is psychological, was there any event that may have caused him to fall into a depression or have some insecurities? Speaking with him is the only right solution, let him feel comfortable and then let him confess to you, assure him that everything is alright. Also, have you tried to give him some pills for sexual problems? They are not cheap, but if you buy them in bulk, you could save a lot of money.
      • 15 days ago
        Hi As a man its very hard to hide when you not getting an erection, ask any women, when us men get horny look out, an erection, it will be coming your way if its your partner.

        How do I know, I'm going through it now and my wife would love a good erection from me.

        NOWHARD ( wish )
  • 1 month ago

    RE: Sex problems

    He could have some health problems, have you checked at a doctor? Many men tend to hide erectile dysfunctions, shaming men on the basis of their sexual life is not unusual these days , although I find it very stupid and childish. I think the problem is psychological, was there any event that may have caused him to fall into a depression or have some insecurities? Speaking with him is the only right solution, let him feel comfortable and then let him confess to you, assure him that everything is alright. Also, have you tried to give him some pills for sexual problems? They are not cheap, but if you buy them in bulk, you could save a lot of money. I recommend you to try this method, maybe it will help him in the long run.
  • 29 days ago

    RE: Sex problems

    Perhaps the problem is that your husband has erection problems and therefore does not want to have sex. I am a man myself and I can say with accuracy that a healthy man will never give up sex. Instead of quarreling with him, you better support him or surprise him and find a cure for him. You can order from ... one of the most effective drugs for the treatment of erectile dysfunction and thereby help him again feel like a man.
  • 29 days ago

    RE: Sex problems

    Just ask him
  • 29 days ago

    RE: Sex problems

    Just ask him
      • 28 days ago
        ASK what?? getting divorce by the next year. and will move out within few months meaning 2020. don't want to get pressure from anyone about my decision. if not understandable don't talk about it. that's all
  • 20 days ago

    RE: Sex problems

    Hi These question may seem personal, but as this has been going four years of no sexual intercourse.

    I was wondering are you keeping your body ready for the big day your sex life restarts, things like is your vagina ready for sex, do you keep it pampered? masturbating helps, rub oils into it, there is nothing like being prepared for a restart, masturbating is one thing that you should not hold back on as it helps, using a dildo helps and always using oils when doing either helps.

    Coconut oil helps in the bedroom when it comes to sex, it has lots of slip and lasts, its also a fun oil to keep handy its only down fall is it goes solid when the room get cooler, but soon melts on contact with our skin, we keep some handy in the rooms we use for sex, you never know?

    Are you keeping yourself healthy, exercise is great as we get older, nothing to serious as long as you can touch you toes, walking helps with a dog is best, swimming is good as its an all over body exercise.

    Taking daily vitamins help along with a good healthy diet.

    Just some help for you to keep at the ready.

    NOWHARD