• 1 month ago

    Female Viagra? In Ontario, Canada?

    Hello. I asked this question 5 years ago, but at the time there was not a definitive answer of what was available or should be used. My wife is 43 and has zero libido. I am 44. She has been this way for many years, and it is very depressing. Of course all of the notes from WebMD in my email saying "sex can be better as you get older", and "how having more sex is good for you" doesn't help! haha
    Yes, I try VERY hard to talk to her, yes, I try and give foreplay.. which she doesn't care for anyhow. Family doctors don't seem to care about the problem. One said "we don't worry about things like that" and one female doctor, after I told her my story said "well, I don't know what to tell you".
    What is available in Ontario, Canada now?
    Any help at all? Please? I wouldn't mind having some sort of intimate relationship while I still can!

Responses

  • 1 month ago

    RE: Female Viagra? In Ontario, Canada?

    Sorry, I did not mean to put a tag of "divorce" at the bottom.. I thought I clicked "relationships"..
  • 1 month ago

    RE: Female Viagra? In Ontario, Canada?

    I think you'll find that you can get it but that you'll need a prescription. You weren't clear about whether your wife was with you when you consulted the various doctors - was she? How does she feel about her low libido? Was she ever interested in sex? Is it possible that she might be suffering from depression?
      • 27 days ago
        No, she was never with me when I asked. I begged her to ask her doctor, and she says she did, but who knows. She was never "that" into it, but looking back it was better than it is now to a certain extent. She kept telling me it would get better as we went along (moving in, buying house, getting married, etc, etc) but it got worse. I don't think she cares about it. I stopped asking 2 years ago, and we went 13 months without a hug or kiss or intimacy. I pointed it out and she shrugged her shoulders. Well, if there was something I didn't want, and I wasn't getting it, I wouldn't complain I suppose. I have bought herbal suppliments that were supposed to help, but she wouldn't take them. She even bought a package once that I found in her dresser drawer, but she wouldn't take those either. I don't think she believes me when I tell her how depressing it is for me to not feel loved or wanted.
      • 27 days ago
        Oh, and we both got "fixed" after kids, so there's not a threat of pregnancy. She did take anti-depressants once, but she still didn't like me. Even depressed people normally wants hugs or kisses, right?
      • 27 days ago
        I am truly sorry for your situation and, honestly, I don't think there IS a solution to it mainly because she has absolutely no desire to change it.

        Is it possible that she might be asexual (check this link out and see what you think - https://asexuality.org/) and that the sex in the early days was just because she felt she HAD to do it? And now that you're a married couple, the obligation is no longer there?

        Frankly, I don't think it's fair of her to expect you to live the rest of your life like this. Heck, you're only 44! You have clearly mismatched libidos and you are suffering due to this. Many people will say that it's "only sex" ... but sex is like air, it only becomes overwhelmingly important when you aren't getting any.

        What do you see as a possible outcome? Divorcing so that you can both go and find someone more suited to your needs? Or having her permission to have a sex with someone else?
      • 26 days ago
        I don't know what the answer is. If she would just tell me what the problem is, I might feel better about myself. Every other guy that talks around me says that they can't keep up with the sexual demands of their wife in their 30's and 40's! And girls that are friends complain that their hubbys can't keep up with them!.... and I get zero!
        So back to this Female Viagra stuff... Does it actually exist? I don't want to get laughed at. Does it make libido appear, or does it help what is there? As a friend of mine said to me "Hey, I hear your wife is pregnant! You know they are 10 times hornier!!" I said 10 times zero is still zero. (yea, once she became pregnant...on the first try,.. I got cut off) So is it even worth asking for?
        Thanks for the replies so far! LD
      • 25 days ago
        If, by any chance, your wife is asexual, then she can't tell you what the problem is simply because for her there is no problem ...

        "Female Viagra" is called Flibanserin (I'll let you google it). From what I've read, its effects on libido are very low and are comparable to the effects of placebo pills used in the same tests ... and it comes with a huge list of drugs that it should not be taken with and a heap of unpleasant possible side effects. There is no miracle cure for inexistant libidos.

        Have you tried marriage counselling?
      • 21 days ago
        No, "we" didn't try counselling. I questioned if it would work since she never has an answer or gets mad when I try to discuss things, and generally makes me feel like she doesn't see the problem. We agreed that she go to counselling to see if she felt comfortable talking about it without me. She did, once, and didn't like it, and didn't feel it would be better with me there. I don't think it would help anyways, she would likely just go with it to get it over with, and still not actually "want" an intimate relationship. I had a steady girlfriend before her when I was younger, and even if she was boiling mad at me, she still wanted to satisfy her desires. I can take my wife away for the day, or a weekend and have a fun, happy time, and as soon as I mention making out she gets mad and says she is tired and is going to sleep. So I wait until morning and try again, and she gets huffy and says "no, I'm getting up"... I don't understand where I went wrong. I have talked to friends who are girls just to try and get their perspective and they always say to me "I wish my husband tried half as hard as you do"! Maybe I'm just destined to be lonely. Thanks for all of the replies.
      • 20 days ago
        I think I'd try the counselling route once more. The whole point of it isn't to point fingers, it's about learning to communicate effectively and if there's one thing that is clear in your posts it's that you have a communication breakdown on your hands. I suspect that's why your wife didn't like counselling the first time - the counsellor tried to get her to go beyond her (very limited) comfort zone.

        Know what? Even if she won't go, please go by yourself. It will help you sort out your priorities, give you tools to cope with your situation and, possibly, steer you towards making the right decisions for you and your future.

        How old are your children, by the way?
      • 20 days ago
        Thanks for the reply, fcl. kids are 8 and 13
      • 19 days ago
        Would they be the reason that you are determined to stay?

        How depressed is your lack of intimity making you?
      • 16 days ago
        They are one of the reasons, but only one of many. I really want it to work. Everything else is going awesome... all but being treated like a roommate. The first time I told her how depressing it was, she told me "They make pills for that". I try to tell her that it IS normal for couples to have a sex life. And it's not just the act of it.. it's about feeling wanted, needed, and not just an ugly Neanderthal provider.
  • 1 month ago

    RE: Female Viagra? In Ontario, Canada?

    When did this start up? how old was she then? I ask these questions so we can build a picture of her, was she a real sex machine then? and had sex anytime? or was she a once a week women.

    NOWHARD
      • 27 days ago
        It was never great, but was better than now...things went downhill 15 years ago. Even if we do anything she is definitely not into it and doesn't enjoy it. I get told make it quick and then to hurry up, or told to stop.
      • 21 days ago
        Hi Sorry for the delay with an answer, if you want a sex life you have two choices, the first would be to get your wife's permission to have sex with other women, if that fails because she wont give you permission.
        The second would be you split from and go your own way to hopefully a better sex life.

        NOWHARD
  • 23 days ago