• 12 days ago

    Feeling so low and don't know where else to talk

    I don't even know why I'm posting here I feel like a *** idiot but I don't know where else to post. I've been feeling so low about myself it's got to the point I'm literally tearful and feeling physically sick at looking at myself. We recently announced our pregnancy on social media and lots and lots of girls have come out the woodwork I've never heard of or my husband has ever spoke of. Now a few months back as a 'just for fun' thing on a Facebook group there was a thing saying type in 'pictures liked by my husband' and it comes up with all these slutty pictures my husband has liked. Now this didn't bother me at all as it was from before we were together, I sent my husband a screenshot saying something like you sure do love Christina hey - something along those lines- as a like, jesty comment. As this particular girl he'd liked a lot of her stuff with her boobs out and very seductive poses etc. I was only joking with him and told him I'd seen it on the group and did his but assured him I was just joking I don't care it was from before me. Now the problem is his reaction, I genuinely wasn't trying to accuse him I made it clear it was a joke thing I'd seen on a group and wasn't bothered but he got so defensive and angry. Now that kind of just set alarm bells off as I've had compulsive liars and very abusive ex partners so it didn't really sit right. Anyway I also found out he'd been looking through my phone, I wouldn't of dreamed of going through his but he apologised when I caught him out and said he shouldn't of done it but had really bad paranoia so I forgave him but again another red flag left standing. Fast forward to now, I'm pregnant obviously and started feeling really insecure, I think a lot of the insecurity stemmed to these things and similar situations arising with him. Anyway after various issues I've said to him out of respect to me I would appreciate it if he would unfollow these slutty accounts after I've caught him out lying on a few occasions and it's made me feel rather *** about myself, he says it's not a problem but gets really irate and goes into rants about what is it I want from him and ends up shouting at me leaving me in tears. I try and just repeat myself , I don't care if he has friendships with any of these hundreds of girls I'm not asking him to unfollow friends my issue lies with him following these girls he doesn't even know but it's picture after picture of their tits or *** etc. Now at the beginning of our relationship I would have never dreamed of asking him to do anything like this but after a few lies and situations where he gets borderline aggressive it's made me really paranoid. In anger he did the same thing to me and looked through my likes which were all female friends or their children with the exception of two male school friends that weren't just people I went to school with ive known them since childhood and one of them especially has seen me through some *** in my teenage years, the other we've met a couple of times to catch up as we bonded over mental health issues and working in care, he is an international weight lifter and dedicates his life to these lifting competitions and I'd liked a photo of him in a vest a 'progress pic' but my husband held that against me. The other was just a selfie that I'd just given him a like on, nothings ever happened between us nor would because that would be weird as hell.
    Anyway. I'm now crying my heart out in the bath after an argument that's arisen from me asking him who these girls are and he's gotten really angry and not listening to me and his reason for his anger and shouting is 'I am so patronising'. He's listening to music while I cry and I just don't know what the *** has happened to us there are no problems in our relationship apart from this issue but when this happens it's like he's another person and makes me feel so shocked and kind of betrayed, this isn't the man I married? Can't help but think he has some kind of guilty conscience.
    If anyone's read all of this I'd really appreciate an opinion. Am I a horrible crazy wife? Would you feel *** too?

Responses

  • 10 days ago

    RE: Feeling so low and don't know where else to talk

    Hi there sorry to hear this. I think that a bit of anger may come up but at the end of the day if something is upsetting you you're partner should get it. If he doesn't...then that is a big red flag to me. You can never teach someone or force someone to respect you. At the end of the day you might want to ask yourself why are you tolerating this. I would suggest some outside perspective such as a therapist to help you find your voice. Sorry if this is harsh!
  • 8 days ago

    RE: Feeling so low and don't know where else to talk

    So sorry that you're going through this while pregnant, pregnancy by itself can be a huge stress on both couples , if it's going beyond that I think you should figure it out before having your baby , it's difficult situation and now you're not like you before pregnancy it makes you vulnerable.
    Talk to therapist don't try to solve it by yourself sometimes it is time to get some help
    *** happens and this is life but you'll be fine
    All the best