Responses

  • 4 months ago

    RE: 4yo daughters father passed yesterday

    Sorry for your loss. If the death was something that falls under normal circumstances (car accident\heart failure etc) she will likely make it through without that much pain due to her age. You can take some solace in that at least. I know its not the same thing, but my daughter was 5 when I lost my mom. The death was hard. They were inseparable. I can say that how I dealt with it had a greater effect on her then the actual event because she watched me go though it. She was there for hospital visits did not actually see the passing. She is fine now and we celebrate little things they used to do together and I make meals she used to make with her as a dedication\appreciation and a positive thing. I hope this helps some. Take it one day at a time.
  • 4 months ago

    RE: 4yo daughters father passed yesterday

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how you feel. I would like to give you some hope for the future. My dad died 20 days before my 4th birthday. That was decades ago. According to my mother I was a daddy’s girl. I don’t remember that. It was an awkward age to lose my father. My brother was one and a half and has no recollection of our father and never missed him. I remember bits and pieces. I was too young to understand, and too young to mourn. But I remembered enough to think of him often while growing up. I did my mourning gradually, over many years. I strongly recommend making sure there are male role models in her life over the next 15 years. I have turned out fine.
    For now, you are probably having a much more difficult time than she is. It’s not real to her, and probably won’t be for years. Kids that age don’t understand the concept of time, of what it means to say he will never come home. Take care of yourself. Meet her needs as they come up. Her feelings will come out in bits and pieces over months and years. Death and forever are beyond her comprehension.
    My mom said she was numb for a year. Be patient with yourself. Show your daughter how much you love her and she will be fine.