• 28 days ago

    Depression, Menopause, and Weight Gain: The Triple Whammy

    I'm about to turn 56 and I think I've just given up on myself. I used to be very careful about what I ate, made sure that I got plenty of exercise but then about 7 years ago I had to have a hysterectomy. They don't tell you when you get a hysterectomy that it will affect your energy level, weight, throw you into menopause, it even steals your libido but that's what I found out (at least for myself). I didn't feel like my self anymore, I couldn't find that person I had been for nearly 50 years. That's when the depression started and the weight gain. I'm at the heaviest point I've ever been. At 6'1" my weight had always been around 165-170, now I'm at 250 with no end in sight. I know what I need to do, the changes I need to make, but I feel incapable of doing anything about it. I feel lost, unable to cope or make a change. I'd like to hear from others that might be struggling like I am, I'd like to know that I'm not alone. Maybe bouncing ideas around would help me gain the incentive needed to really change things around.

Responses

  • 24 days ago

    RE: Depression, Menopause, and Weight Gain: The Triple Whammy

    At 26 with a history of a miscarage then a stillborn I had to have a hysterectomy. The marrage could not with stand the disappointments and hurt, so then a diviorce. I was never the same. Heck, I was still learning who I was. This was 35 years ago. No support groups at that time. Psycologist did not know enough to help. Hormones improved the physical me but the mental me realy never was completely healed. Life gets no better. Take all the pills in the world. Do all the shopping in the world. Sleep with every man you get a chance to sleep with. Drink a lot of booze. Do drugs. These things do not work, I know.
    Find a way to adjust to the new you. There is the unwanted facial hair. The impossible to get back muscel tone in the sugery area. The feel bad in every way. What you have to do is get up and do the best you can. Think of others. Help others. Celebrate what you do have. Because in time you may loose that too.
    I gave my all to a career. Now my body is worn out more than it should be. The only happiness you will ever find, the only answers you will ever find, have to come from inside you.....Learn what works for you. Listening what worked for others may help you draw an out line for your self, but the polished version will be found in you. I don't have answers. I have many failures. The failures guide me away from "doing that again". We are to not question why. Who can live into days times and not question why? The expression, WHY ME....WHY NOT ME..I don't know but feel you have been given these experinces in life for a good reason. As I look at the men and women that are about the same age as my children would have been, I am greatfull not to have brought them into this life. My heart go's out to every one. I believe in God. Some times that helps.
  • 24 days ago

    RE: Depression, Menopause, and Weight Gain: The Triple Whammy

    You've been thru a whole lot of scary changes, most of which you won't be able to deal with by yourself. I know the reply before mine basically tells you to suck it up and take care of it yourself, but there are times when we need all the help and support we can get and I think this is one of those times for you.
    You sound like you could really use a good support group, and luckily these days, there are support groups for everything. There you would meet other women going thru the same thing you are. Google women's support groups in your area or ask one of your doctors (one that you like and trust) if they know of one that would fit your needs. If you don't like the idea of a group, then please, please find a good female therapist (again, a referral thru a trusted doctor) to talk to about these issues.
    If you are clinically depressed, antidepressants might help you. They helped me. I will say that I am amazed that at least one of the doctors involved with your hysterectomy didn't sit you down beforehand and tell you about all the things that might happen AFTER the surgery. That's unforgivable.
    Anyway, I hope you'll try one of my suggestions because I know they could make a world of difference for you. You don't need to go thru this alone!!
  • 21 days ago

    RE: Depression, Menopause, and Weight Gain: The Triple Whammy

    I was lucky that I only needed a partial hysterectomy done but I struggled terribly afterwards anyway. After years of weight gain, depression, anxiety, brain fog, and no sexual desire I saw an episode of Oprah during which the talked about using soy supplements. So I tried them and miraculously it helped me. I know that Soy is controversial now but my experience with it was just short of a miracle. It took about 4 weeks before I started seeing a change. Once it started though it was fantastic. I lost close to 65 lbs and really started feeling better overall. It may not be the right thing for you though so please look into the risks vs benefits.

    I suggest you find a new GYN that will explain things to you clearly and work with you to find solutions that will help you feel better. I also suggest seeing a Psychiatrist to help you find a proper treatment for your depression. There are many new treatments now besides medications that may work for you. I am actually able to take a special form of folate which can help your brain better process it and use it which can help with depression. For me it works.

    I've also joined groups on Facebook that promote positivity and mindfulness. And I've tried meditation and found that to be enjoyable. Admittedly I also struggle with making myself do things and concentration is a huge issue for me.

    It's a work in progress all the time. I try to remain positive despite the fact that I'm facing multiple surgeries on my back and neck, I'm separated from my husband, and on disability. I have 7 wonderful Grandchildren, a home, food in the cupboard, and I'm able to get out of bed and walk on my own every morning!

    So don't give up, find one good thing to be thankful for everyday even if it's as simple as taking a deep breath. There are tons of support groups online - Intention Inspired is a good one that I found. Nurture yourself and be kind to yourself, this too shall pass.
  • 19 days ago

    RE: Depression, Menopause, and Weight Gain: The Triple Whammy

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  • 19 days ago

    RE: Depression, Menopause, and Weight Gain: The Triple Whammy

    The best diet I was ever on: learning the food combinations and eating every 3 hours. I could eat oatmeal (with fruit and nuts) in the morning but I had to add a protein so I ate one egg, either microwave scramble or hard boiled. I learned about foods and how to put them together. But, of course the big winner: eating every 3 hours. You never get hungry. You can eat fresh fruit and yogurt and think it's dessert. You're lucky you are 6"1. Try bring 5"2. Yikes