• 2 months ago

    bipolar or not?

    So, at 18 years old (I am currently 23) I was diagnosed in a mental facility as bipolar. Now, as I study the disorder I noticed there is type 1, 2, and rapid cycling and recently when I visited my psychiatrist she diagnosed me with bipolar depression. I don't understand what this means. My episodes are basically : for a good 7-8 months depressed; then a good 4-5 months I'm manic then it happens all over again. I normally wouldn't care what the diagnosis is but it's been agitating me lately not to understand what's going on with my brain. Any thoughts?

Responses

  • 2 months ago

    RE: bipolar or not?

    We live in a time and a place where labels are common but true understanding and compassion is all too often lacking. As a lay person I would suggest that you try to live outside of the box that others have built for you. Could your state of mind be a challenge and not necessarily a negative curse? ...a part of the wide continuum of human behavior? ...a scenario that may offer potential opportunity? More than a few artists and creative individuals have faced the same situation in their lives and have used it to see and understand the world , their work, their art and their place society --with a different, deeper and more rewarding perspective. If you're in a so-called manic state for 40% of your time, and if that equates to a relatively productive, fuller and happier state - then I would say you're better off than many who live 90% of their lives in a mindless rut of bland & stifling routine. As for the 60% of your time that may be labeled as depression - even then you are still blessed with the gratifying knowledge that you will cycle up & out of it - and are therefore much better off than those that might be caught in a increasingly downward whirlpool of depression that they feel powerless to escape. Don't internalize or let other people label you are as deformed, diseased or a victim. Try to use your differences to be more aware, more productive - and a less anxious & "agitated" member of society. None of us is the true master of our fate nor are we ever fully the captain of our soul and mind. But that's absolutely no reason to extinguish the hope within you for a good and better life. You're still very young - seize the day and make the most of your-all-too-short life in the best way you can. Focusing outward - on helping others even in the midst of internal pain - is often an excellent "cure" for what troubles or upsets us. As Dylan once said: You lose yourself, you reappear, you suddenly find you have nothing to fear...