• 4 months ago

    I Don't Like People to Touch Me

    It's not that I think it's gross and germy, I just generally don't like people all up in my business.

    I mean, why do people immediately assume that everybody wants to be hugged? Not me.

    What about others? I can't be alone.

Responses

  • 4 months ago

    RE: I Don't Like People to Touch Me

    Try wearing a badge that says please don't hug me, and when you meet somebody always just offer your hand out for a good handshake. OK

    NOWHARD
      • 3 months ago
        I posted my message to see if there were others who felt the same way and, if so, let them (and myself know) it's common and not so totally unusual. I was sincere in my question.

        "Wear a badge that says please don't hug me?"

        NOWHARD, your reply was insulting. But after reading your posts on various other boards, not totally unexpected from you. Have a nice day. OK
      • 3 months ago
        Learn to spot a joke. Holding out your hand is a solid step. Sorry if it offends you. I myself am not the touchy feely type.
      • 3 months ago
        Seeing your reaction to some other comments , my apologies (in my Spock/Star Trek-related comment below ) for not being aware enough that I was not merely commenting on a collection of words on a screen but rather, that I was responding to a living feeling person on the other end. You may have been seeking supportive reactions. I offered criticisms, and not enough empathy. My comment probably says much more about me than about than about you. It’s the nature of the internet: It brings us together, yes, but with potentially negative and even cruel consequences. We can get lost in the web, so appropriately named. On the internet, without the physical “touch”, the sight, the eyes, the vibrating voice & sound, the context, the feel, the look, the subtle reactions & emotions, the closeness of the other person we can all too easily be both mistaken and overly callous or dismissive. But beyond the internet, in real life, we do also need other people, real flesh & blood people, to be our mirrors - for us to be reflected in their eyes and minds, for better or worse, to be supported, or ignored, or sometimes even have our negative impulses warped & enabled by toxic mirrors around us. Mirrors can hurt, mirrors can mislead, mirrors can guide & support, and mirrors can foster a selfish conceit - but human mirrors are necessary to help counter our inner blind spots. They can be a vital way to know ourselves, and what’s more important than that, in the larger scheme of things? I myself am elderly, as you perhaps can tell by my dated references (i.e. Spock, Star Trek, and in this particular context, the Velvet Underground’s Nico singing her haunting “I’ll be your mirror” would be appropriate). Sartre, a French philosopher (of the 60’s, what else?) once famously remarked that “Hell is other people”. Hmmm, I wonder what his heaven was like? In any case that makes me glad(er) that I’m an atheist :-) (Of course, Sartre lived in Europe thru the horrors of World War Two, which left their deep scars no doubt). But being elderly myself, and because I am a survivor who has lost so many friends and family over the years, I now seek & value people much more - their touch, their interaction, their presence, their love & support - whether physical or mental. I connect with and appreciate the quoted words of Spock much more. For when I was young, people were seemingly disposable, a never-ending stream of faces and loves and hates, and I sought what I called privacy in the rushing race all around me. But now people are precious to me, and helping others (even -or especially- in the midst of personal physical or mental pain) is the best medicine for what ails us. Some lessons we learn late, but better than not at all. I wish you well in your own journey, guided by your own stars. However, may they not be the only companion that touch you…
  • 3 months ago

    RE: I Don't Like People to Touch Me

    You're not. I once met a girl who hated being hugged and it really bugged her when people just assumed she would like it. It bothered her so much that when she talks about it, she starts crying. I think the best you can do is calmly explain to whoever wants to hug you that it's not that you don't like them, you just don't enjoy being hugged.
  • 3 months ago

    RE: I Don't Like People to Touch Me

    I'm not really crazy about being hugged either. I think it's a passing phase because you see it on TV. I don't mind shaking hands but I'd prefer to wave at people.
  • 3 months ago

    RE: I Don't Like People to Touch Me

    You would no doubt protest , but your own words and phrasing (i.e. " I can't be alone") seem to be a suppressed inner cry that yearns to touch, to connect, to love, and to be loved and not to be lonely.
    Somehow I am reminded of the words of Leonard Nimoy as Dr. Spock, in an old Star Trek episode called "Is there in truth no beauty?", where an alien speaks thru him while inhabiting his body for a brief period:
    “How compact your bodies are, and what a variety of senses you have. This thing you call language though… most remarkable… and you depend on it for so very much, but are any one of you really its master… But most of all… the aloneness… you are so alone… you live out your lives in this shell of flesh, self-contained… separate… how lonely you are… how terribly lonely…”
    – Mr. Spock
    Do you perhaps feel so superior -or so inferior- or so hurt - that you try to shun close human contact, to be human? You are right- you can't be alone.
      • 3 months ago
        By the way my reference to Star Trek & loneliness is not meant as some arrogant lecture or as an attempt to psychoanalyze you, or to impose my standards on you, your life, or your way of thinking & feeling . They're simply a few thoughts on the all-too-human condition from my perspective...
  • 3 months ago
  • 3 months ago

    RE: I Don't Like People to Touch Me

    Well everybody is different. Thank God! I personally don't like people at work or someone I just met hugging me.family friends is fine.whats wrong with that NOTHING! Watch out though because now days if you don't hug your boss Or express your
    Dislike to hugs at work they may be offended and fire you!
  • 3 months ago

    RE: I Don't Like People to Touch Me

    I hate being touched but only because I hurt so bad. Touching me on the arm is like a punch on the nose. I know this is not why you don't like being touched. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be touched just tell people not to touch you. I don't think you are the only one
  • 3 months ago
  • RE: I Don't Like People to Touch Me

    Different people have different comfort levels with touch and physical intimacy with others. I wonder, though, whether you don't like being touched, or whether you feel that people too quickly invade your personal space. In other words, are you comfortable being hugged by or holding hands with or receiving a touch on your back from people you feel emotionally close with?
  • 3 months ago

    RE: I Don't Like People to Touch Me

    What a great idea wearing a badge, cant see anything wrong in doing that, in fact I'm going to get one made may even get a T shirt made as well, see if that keeps them off me.
  • 3 months ago

    RE: I Don't Like People to Touch Me

    I, too, don't like being touched, especially by people I don't know very well. I also find it extremely difficult to touch other people - I could not be a nurse because I'd have to touch people. Oddly, I'm the opposite with my husband and children - with them, touching and being touched is okay. I care deeply for other people, but I can't demonstrate it physically.