• 9 months ago

    Dating anxiety?

    I'm a 35 year old women. I've never really been in a relationship, I've been on a few dates but they usually don't go past the second date. I've never had sex and although I would love to, I'm nervous and how many 30 something guys are going to wait until I'm comfortable. I don't know what is wrong with me. I used to have a therapist that actually asked if I had been sexually abused, which as far as I know I haven't been. My anxiety is just so high surrounding the whole issue and I am rather depressed that I am going to be alone for the rest of my life. I used to want to get married and have children, but that might not happen now. I'm tired of online dating, but I don't go anywhere to meet anyone. I don't know if I just want someone to tell it's going to be okay or someone to shed some light on why I am so screwed up. I'm in therapy and we are working on my anxiety and anger, but I just feel stuck. Any words of encouragement or even ideas?

Responses

  • 9 months ago

    RE: Dating anxiety?

    You shouldn't feel that way. There is a gentleman who will treat you like you should be treated. He will love you the way you are supposed to be loved. And I know you know this already but don't worry about sex until you are ready. If he truly loves you, he will be patient.
  • 9 months ago

    RE: Dating anxiety?

    Hi there. Thanks for posting.

    The fear of dating is very overwhelming for many people. It is completely normal to feel isolated when our fears and anxiety feel so intense, but you are certainly not alone. Do you have anxiety with strangers in general? Or just potential love interests?

    It sounds like you are on the right track by seeing a therapist and working on your anxiety and anger. Always remember, you are a valuable, intelligent and special person, one that is worthy of love and affection. If you continue to work on the issues that are preventing you from making connections with potential love interests, then I have no doubt that love will find its way into your life.

    In the meantime, you might find it helpful to read these:
    1) How to Overcome First-Date Jitters: http://wb.md/2hc42TM
    2) Causes, Symptoms & Overcoming Sexual Performance Anxiety: http://wb.md/2hdrKBL

    Please feel free to come back and let us know how you're doing. We care about you and we're here for you ((hugs)).
  • RE: Dating anxiety?

    As for words of encouragement, I can tell you that I have worked with people all kinds of relationship issues, and they have often moved on to happy relationships (including people older than you). So, there is no need to lose hope.

    You say you are in therapy and working on anxiety and anger issues. If you'd like some feedback and help here, you might want to tell us a bit more about those issues. Also, I wonder if you have a sense that you are getting down to what you really need to be talking about in therapy and whether you have a sense that you are defending against talking about important issues. I also find that people who struggle with dating relationships often don't really let their guard down in close friendships. These are all important things to ask yourself.
  • 8 months ago

    RE: Dating anxiety?

    are you lie this in general or just about 'dating' ?

    If it is just about dating then you need to change your attitude. Start dating people with the goal to just have a good time and not thinking about the future. You need to loosen up .

    I have several interesting and INSIGHTFUL articles for you to read if you want of course, no pressure.

    Please go to www.beluckyinlove.net and navigate to the 'dating 'section. You will find a lot of interesting information on various dating issues. One of the articles is named ' Discomfort of dating' - highly recommended. Another one ' Are you too picky? ' -read the article and learn how to relax.

    Overall, you really need to take it easy. Be happy you do not have a boyfriend. You have no idea how stressful it can be. Being in a relationship is not that easy dear....
  • 22 days ago

    RE: Dating anxiety?

    Iam sorry it will be ok just give it time for the right guy
  • 20 days ago

    RE: Dating anxiety?

    Hi Can I come at you another way if you don't mind.
    But just how sexual are you? do you masturbate? have you ever looked at you own vagina with a mirror?
    Reason for asking as you really do need to know and understand your own body so you can be comfortable with somebody else.

    NOWHARD